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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

How to Handle a Break Up - Things You Should Do to Protect Yourself

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Break ups are seldom easy and rarely happy occasions. In the beginning, it may seem very difficult to get over but you definitely will find the time and the reason. To help you handle a break up and lessen the pain and possible negative repercussions, here are some things you can do:

A good way to handle a break up is to keep things amicable. Break ups don’t have to be made up of nasty fights, harsh words and revenge plots. If you came into a relationship in a good way, you can try to get out of it nicely. Don’t rub salt into an already bad wound. Wouldn’t it be better to lose a lover and win a friend than lose everything?

Don’t play the blame game; this is not a good way to handle a break up. Blaming each other will create negative feelings and even make you regret a lot of things that you shouldn’t have in the first place. Take responsibility for the part you played on the relationship, both for its success and for its failure, but don’t be too harsh on yourself or on your soon-to-be ex. By keeping your self-esteem intact, you don’t leave room for bitterness and you will learn ho handle a break up nicely.

Another way to handle a break up is avoid seeing only the hole in the doughnut. Relationships end for many reasons and when yours does, don’t just focus only on the bad things. Remember the things that made your relationship great and be thankful you were once a part of it. Just don’t dwell on it, this way you can handle a break up more easily.

To handle a break up don’t do or say anything that you will regret later on. When emotions are high, it's a lot easier to let slip certain words or statements that may make you feel better about the break up. Unfortunately, this feeling doesn’t last long and you may realize later you shouldn’t have even bothered.

Handle a break up without any violence, verbal or physical. It may seem the most logical thing to do especially if you're angry but it's best to avoid these situations. It will not only make your pain worse, there is also a possibility you might find yourself at the receiving end of criminal charges.

The best way to handle a break up is move on. Mourn your relationship if you must – that's normal and expected of you. But don’t wallow in your grief so much that you forget you still have a life to live and there are still people who love you for what you are. By moving on, you acknowledge that the relationship has ended and that you are giving yourself a chance to find happiness again.

While you are trying to handle a break up, don’t allow yourself to be too vulnerable. As you move back to a single life, you might feel a little too exposed. Feeling vulnerable is normal – all of a sudden you are back to being on your own, doing things alone. Find support from your family and friends. They will not only help you get back on your feet again, they will also help you re-enter the social scene.

Don’t force a new relationship just to feel less lonely. It's not only fair to you; it's also unfair to the other person. In-between relationships may seem like a terrific stop-gap measure and may provide you with the kind of companionship you just lost, but they will not replace your other relationship. Each relationship is unique so don’t try to find your old flame's qualities in another person. You're bound to be disappointed and you might find yourself in a relationship break up all over again.

You're life is taking on a new turn. Enjoy it! Think of the end of a relationship as a way to toss out old things and an opportunity to welcome new ones. Depending on how you treat it, change can be a good thing and it's really up to you to take this new direction and turn it to your advantage. Handle a break up nicely, learn from your past relationship and take a step forward.

If you’ve tried to handle a break up nicely and still you want to win your ex back, you know you haven’t done anything that you will regret later. If you really, really want to win your ex back you have to put effort in it. Did you know that you can bring back a lost love no matter how hopeless your situation appears? Discover how you can easily bring back the love of your life visit Love, Dating and Weddings

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including How to Handle a Break Up: Things You Should Do to Protect Yourself.

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