Top 6 Reasons Couples Break Up

                

 

Each day, more relationships fall apart...it seems like the list of things that can end them is endless, but really most of the biggest killers are fairly simple. If your relationship is in danger or has already broken apart, I'm here to help you by listing off some of the main reasons people go their separate ways. Once you know what causes a breakup, you can usually fix it!

1) Unfaithfulness is a supreme destroyer of relationships...nothing really wounds a person so much as when his/her partner isn't happy enough at home that he/she decides to go looking for what's missing in other places. Cheating on your lover is probably the coldest, most hurtful thing you can do to a person and usually results in nigh-unfixable breakups...so the best way to deal with the problem is to never have it in the first place.

2) Neglecting your partner's feelings is another really hurtful thing that can cause a breakup, and in fact does a lot of the time. People have emotions, even the guys who like to act like they don't so much...and it really hurts when they're never considered by the person whom the love the most. Always listen to your partner, and be considerate of how he/she feels.

3) Fights happen in all relationships, it's almost natural, but when tempers really soar and people just can't cool off and take things with a level head it can really cause dissension. Nobody likes to be with a person who's always flying off the handle, and can't be reasoned with. Conflicts are going to happen, but how well they're dealt with separates the people who stay together from the couples that fragment and scatter.

4) Movies have made it seem like it's only ever girls who get too controlling, and in fact film has made it even seem funny, but the truth is that both guys and girls can become overly demanding and controlling of their partners...and it's no laughing matter, as anyone who's been in that kind of relationship can tell you. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything...and if you keep hounding your partner about what goes on every minute of every day, you won't have him or her either.

5) Allowing a relationship to get boring and stale is perhaps one of the most tragic ways that one can end, as it's pretty much just a case of so little going on that a person doesn't really care anymore. Lack of spontanaeity and "spice" is a relationship's enemy, although you don't have to freak out if you aren't doing something new every hour. Spend time together, and do things that are fun for both of you! It's crazy to simply let a relationship "reach its expiration date."

6) Annoying habits in small numbers can be almost endearing, but when they start to take over it can be a serious problem. Usually just having a bad habit of biting your nails or tapping your foot won't end a relationship, but when these things are a blatant constant and in larger numbers than just two or three, they can add a lot of stress that can make normally minor problems impact your partner a lot more. Everyone has a few bad habits, but in the interest of peacekeeping it's a good idea to try to ease up on the things that really drive your partner crazy.

There are a lot of things that can contribute to the "demise" of a relationship, and these are really just a few of them...but by thinking this way you should have a good shot at identifying any of the things that are really hurting your relationship...and if you're in the middle of a breakup, then addressing problems like these could really help your chances of getting through it with your partner still by your side!

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4 Important Steps To Get Over A Break Up

                

 

Breaking up is never easy. It doesn't matter if you are the one doing the breaking up or if you are on the receiving end. Break ups are painful even if it is only because of the other person's pain or just the discomfort of a major change. Suddenly you may feel that you are ALONE. There is no lonelier feeling than suddenly being alone and feeling that you will be that way forever. While break ups can be painful, there are some ways to ease the pain and get on with your life. The world does not stop, that is true, but you can take some time out for yourself. These steps will help you recover.

Patience

Patience is a key step in break up recovery. You have to be patient with your own feelings, your grief and your pain. So, go ahead and cry, scream, do whatever you need to do, but be patient that these feelings will eventually pass. At some point you will realize that you no longer hurt, you are no longer angry and you can face the world with no baggage. Don't rush into another relationship right away. Use your patience to wait a while before becoming exclusive with someone new.

Flexibility

Give yourself some flexibility. You may plan on going out on Friday. All week long you are planning and talking about it, but when Friday rolls around you just aren't up to it. Don't carve plans in stone right away. Make flexible plans that can be modified or canceled at a moment's notice. You may plan to go out at 7 pm on Friday, but at the last minute you don't feel up to it until 9 pm or even not at all. Move at your own pace and listen to what your body and emotions are telling you. When you are ready, you will get back out into the world. Until then, do some therapeutic exercises such as writing to help you deal with your feelings.

Time

Give yourself time to grieve the break up. You may have some friends telling you to go right back out there and get back on the horse. You should not rush anything, especially getting into another relationship. Take it easy, don't rush, cry, be sad, be angry and give yourself time to feel these things and work them out. However, if your depression and funky mood don't pass in 2 weeks you should talk to your doctor because you may be experiencing a more major form of depression. Counseling can work wonders too. Don't rule it out.

Faith

You won't feel like this forever. At the time of the break up you may think that the feelings of sadness, hopelessness and anger will never go away, but eventually you will smile again. Eventually you will find someone who will make you forget all about whatshisname or whatshername. All you have to do is have faith that it will happen. Just believe.

How To Deal With A Break Up is an online portal with expert break up articles and reviews. Visit http://www.howtodealwithabreakup.com for free relationship advice and tips

How to Break Up With a Toxic Friend

                

 

You are stuck in a dead-end relationship and you really want out. You do not want to hurt this person’s feelings, because regardless of how bad things are, you care. How do you go about telling her that you would rather not be friends anymore? Should you just do a disappearing act and hope he will get the point? Is it a good idea to just withdraw until you drift apart?

Just like breaking up with a lover, ending a relationship with a friend is not an easy thing to do. In fact, it is so complicated that most people prefer to continue being involved with somebody they cannot stand simply to avoid the messiness of telling them good-bye. I have heard of people pretending not to be home to keep from spending time with a person they did not like. Sometimes, though, separation is not necessary. A lot of problems can be solved with an honest conversation.

Here is what I suggest:

1. Have a sincere talk with your friend. Suddenly falling out of the picture is not a good idea, because your friend might never know what he did wrong and will not be able to learn from the experience. And that would not be fair.

2. During your heart to heart conversation, observe this person. Is she paying attention or is she just waiting for you to shut up so she can answer back? Is he denying everything you say and twisting around your words to make you feel guilty? Or is she trying to work things out with you with an open mind? If your friend’s reaction is one of complete denial, then I guess it is clear indication that you need to move on.

3. After your talk, allow yourself some time and space to assimilate what happened. If there is hope, figure out what steps need to be taken to keep the friendship on the right track. Do not allow your friend to manipulate you into staying together because it will only produce more resentment on your part, and a relationship founded on pity is hardly ever a good idea.

4. If you still feel that you need to end it, be nice. Remember that what goes around comes around. After you have had the opportunity to think things through, tell your friend that you would prefer not to spend time with him anymore. Assure him that you will always be there for him, but that for now it is best to go your separate ways. Say this as directly as possible. Do not beat around the bush as that would only lead to confusion. And by all means void accusing, offensive remarks.

But what happens if you are on the receiving end of the break-up? What if you are the friend that everybody is trying to ditch? Take the time to seriously and honestly evaluate your attitude. Maybe you need to work on some unattractive aspect of your personality or maybe you just have the bad habit of surrounding yourself with people that do not really appreciate you.

Dinorah Blackman-Williams' books may be previewed and purchased at http://www.lulu.com/blackman

How to Handle a Break Up - Things You Should Do to Protect Yourself

                

 

Break ups are seldom easy and rarely happy occasions. In the beginning, it may seem very difficult to get over but you definitely will find the time and the reason. To help you handle a break up and lessen the pain and possible negative repercussions, here are some things you can do:

A good way to handle a break up is to keep things amicable. Break ups don’t have to be made up of nasty fights, harsh words and revenge plots. If you came into a relationship in a good way, you can try to get out of it nicely. Don’t rub salt into an already bad wound. Wouldn’t it be better to lose a lover and win a friend than lose everything?

Don’t play the blame game; this is not a good way to handle a break up. Blaming each other will create negative feelings and even make you regret a lot of things that you shouldn’t have in the first place. Take responsibility for the part you played on the relationship, both for its success and for its failure, but don’t be too harsh on yourself or on your soon-to-be ex. By keeping your self-esteem intact, you don’t leave room for bitterness and you will learn ho handle a break up nicely.

Another way to handle a break up is avoid seeing only the hole in the doughnut. Relationships end for many reasons and when yours does, don’t just focus only on the bad things. Remember the things that made your relationship great and be thankful you were once a part of it. Just don’t dwell on it, this way you can handle a break up more easily.

To handle a break up don’t do or say anything that you will regret later on. When emotions are high, it's a lot easier to let slip certain words or statements that may make you feel better about the break up. Unfortunately, this feeling doesn’t last long and you may realize later you shouldn’t have even bothered.

Handle a break up without any violence, verbal or physical. It may seem the most logical thing to do especially if you're angry but it's best to avoid these situations. It will not only make your pain worse, there is also a possibility you might find yourself at the receiving end of criminal charges.

The best way to handle a break up is move on. Mourn your relationship if you must – that's normal and expected of you. But don’t wallow in your grief so much that you forget you still have a life to live and there are still people who love you for what you are. By moving on, you acknowledge that the relationship has ended and that you are giving yourself a chance to find happiness again.

While you are trying to handle a break up, don’t allow yourself to be too vulnerable. As you move back to a single life, you might feel a little too exposed. Feeling vulnerable is normal – all of a sudden you are back to being on your own, doing things alone. Find support from your family and friends. They will not only help you get back on your feet again, they will also help you re-enter the social scene.

Don’t force a new relationship just to feel less lonely. It's not only fair to you; it's also unfair to the other person. In-between relationships may seem like a terrific stop-gap measure and may provide you with the kind of companionship you just lost, but they will not replace your other relationship. Each relationship is unique so don’t try to find your old flame's qualities in another person. You're bound to be disappointed and you might find yourself in a relationship break up all over again.

You're life is taking on a new turn. Enjoy it! Think of the end of a relationship as a way to toss out old things and an opportunity to welcome new ones. Depending on how you treat it, change can be a good thing and it's really up to you to take this new direction and turn it to your advantage. Handle a break up nicely, learn from your past relationship and take a step forward.

If you’ve tried to handle a break up nicely and still you want to win your ex back, you know you haven’t done anything that you will regret later. If you really, really want to win your ex back you have to put effort in it. Did you know that you can bring back a lost love no matter how hopeless your situation appears? Discover how you can easily bring back the love of your life visit Love, Dating and Weddings

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including How to Handle a Break Up: Things You Should Do to Protect Yourself.

You Don't Have to Break Down, When You Break Up!

                

 

Very few people would argue with the fact that creating successful relationships is often one of the biggest challenges we face as human beings. The strange thing is that life can become even more challenging when they end. But is it really necessary to break down when you break up?

Below are three simple ideas that will help guide you to re-build your life on your own.

1. Become firmly grounded in the present moment.

If you find yourself on the other side of a relationship, it is important that you have a deep awareness of what you are feeling in the present moment. Continually check in with yourself. Notice what is going on with you if you are experiencing emotional upset. Your body is always in the present, but where is your mind?

It may be very tempting for you to delve into your past replaying events over and over again in your head. The reality is, you can't change your past, so trying to do so is futile. Just accept everything as it is. Find peace around the thought that both of you were operating to the best of your ability, given the circumstances, at any moment in time.

Equally futile is casting your mind into the future, wondering what life could have, would have, should have been like had you stayed with your partner. The truth is that your future is going to look somewhat different to what you may have previously anticipated. Do your best to accept it.

If you manage to stay in the present moment, most of the pain you will experience will be growing pains. You are transforming from one state of being to another. It's not going to be easy. Whether your new state of being is a good one largely comes down to the choices you make. If you take responsibility for where you are right now you will slowly begin to see you life unfold as it should.

2. Breaking up with someone is a creative as well as a destructive process.

It was Pablo Picasso that stated that 'every act of creation is necessarily an act of destruction'.

Whether you like it or not, breaking up with girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife is a creative process as much as it is a destructive process. What you are in fact doing is deconstructing your life with your partner and re-creating your life where your partner takes on a different role to the one they had previously. In extreme cases, you may even decide that your partner will have no future role in your life.

This creative process can be turbulent and it can also be profoundly enjoyable and exciting. What you have is an opportunity to start over. If it feels right for you, completely immerse yourself into the creative process. Take the opportunity to try as many new things as you possibly can. You may well astound yourself with what you are capable of doing on your own.

3. Allow yourself to regenerate.

If you are going through a break up allow yourself plenty of time to regenerate. Focus on the things that you can control. Make sure that you exercise regularly, eat properly and get plenty of rest. Read, spend time with family and close friends and spend plenty of time in nature.

Take things slowly, look after yourself and create the time and space in your life necessary to allow yourself to start growing again.

Remember two things.

However you choose to adapt to this change process, it is of critical importance that you remember two things;

i) be kind to yourself and
ii) be kind to your ex-partner.

Whether your break-up was hard fought or amicable, extending compassion to your old friend will help you both immensely in the healing process. Remember that you are both beautifully human, doing the best you can to navigate through this world.

Damien Senn is a Life and Business Coach as well as a fully qualified Chartered Accountant. He helps people create compelling futures.

He is the author of the 'Senn-Sational Success Journal' and has developed his own coaching model called the 'Senn-Sational Success System'.

For your free download '101 things to do before you die' please click the following link:

http://www.senn-sational.com/freeresources.htm