Top 6 Reasons Couples Break Up

                

 

Each day, more relationships fall apart...it seems like the list of things that can end them is endless, but really most of the biggest killers are fairly simple. If your relationship is in danger or has already broken apart, I'm here to help you by listing off some of the main reasons people go their separate ways. Once you know what causes a breakup, you can usually fix it!

1) Unfaithfulness is a supreme destroyer of relationships...nothing really wounds a person so much as when his/her partner isn't happy enough at home that he/she decides to go looking for what's missing in other places. Cheating on your lover is probably the coldest, most hurtful thing you can do to a person and usually results in nigh-unfixable breakups...so the best way to deal with the problem is to never have it in the first place.

2) Neglecting your partner's feelings is another really hurtful thing that can cause a breakup, and in fact does a lot of the time. People have emotions, even the guys who like to act like they don't so much...and it really hurts when they're never considered by the person whom the love the most. Always listen to your partner, and be considerate of how he/she feels.

3) Fights happen in all relationships, it's almost natural, but when tempers really soar and people just can't cool off and take things with a level head it can really cause dissension. Nobody likes to be with a person who's always flying off the handle, and can't be reasoned with. Conflicts are going to happen, but how well they're dealt with separates the people who stay together from the couples that fragment and scatter.

4) Movies have made it seem like it's only ever girls who get too controlling, and in fact film has made it even seem funny, but the truth is that both guys and girls can become overly demanding and controlling of their partners...and it's no laughing matter, as anyone who's been in that kind of relationship can tell you. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything...and if you keep hounding your partner about what goes on every minute of every day, you won't have him or her either.

5) Allowing a relationship to get boring and stale is perhaps one of the most tragic ways that one can end, as it's pretty much just a case of so little going on that a person doesn't really care anymore. Lack of spontanaeity and "spice" is a relationship's enemy, although you don't have to freak out if you aren't doing something new every hour. Spend time together, and do things that are fun for both of you! It's crazy to simply let a relationship "reach its expiration date."

6) Annoying habits in small numbers can be almost endearing, but when they start to take over it can be a serious problem. Usually just having a bad habit of biting your nails or tapping your foot won't end a relationship, but when these things are a blatant constant and in larger numbers than just two or three, they can add a lot of stress that can make normally minor problems impact your partner a lot more. Everyone has a few bad habits, but in the interest of peacekeeping it's a good idea to try to ease up on the things that really drive your partner crazy.

There are a lot of things that can contribute to the "demise" of a relationship, and these are really just a few of them...but by thinking this way you should have a good shot at identifying any of the things that are really hurting your relationship...and if you're in the middle of a breakup, then addressing problems like these could really help your chances of getting through it with your partner still by your side!

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Why Do People Break Up And Divorce

                

 

We have been pressured through a wide range of channels to believe that being in a long-term, committed relationship and eventually marrying and having a family is the right thing to do in life. Our parents, teachers at school, friends, and co-workers seem to encourage us to follow the traditional path of family life, and we can't help but want to follow all the people around us who enter into serious, romantic relationships.

As we grow older, we feel that we need to give answers to the society why we are not quite where the world wants us to be - having all the "normal" things: a home, spouse and children.

However, there is one crucially important factor that we must not overlook as humans: we are all different! While our anatomy is very similar, we are very different in so many ways - our taste and preferences in every aspect of our professional, social and personal life vary radically from one another. From food, clothing, hairstyle, to choosing a profession, friends, an area to live, and hobbies - these are just a few ways in which we are so unique and so unlike others.

This means that different things make different people happy! This, in turn, suggests that there is no reason why we all should have similar goals when it comes to dating and forming romantic relationships. That is, it's very likely that the dating situation that makes one person happy might make another feel unhappy or even miserable.

I believe, therefore, that many people are not supposed to be in a committed relationship. That must simply not be in their nature and physiology. And it's likely that they can't or even shouldn't be doing anything about it. It must be the case that that's not where their life purpose is, and any effort to "push" them in the direction that the society dictates to them but against their very essence is doomed to failure.

Thus, it's crucially important that we take all the time necessary to be completely honest and open with ourselves and have the courage to truly admit to ourselves whether a committed relationship / marriage is the arrangement we really want before we take a step in that life-changing direction.

www.PracticalHappiness.com
Revolution in Dating & Relationships Advice

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Prevent a Break Up

                

 

The question I am asked most often is: I think he/she is getting ready to leave me. What do I do? There isn't an easy answer for this or there wouldn’t be any break ups. Every situation is different and sometimes breakups are inevitable. However this is not always the case and there are things you can do before you reach the breaking point that will help.

Here are the 10 most important things:

1. Communicate. Communication is important. If you find that when you try to communicate your feelings to your partner it always leads to an argument, try writing your feelings down. Read through what you’ve written. If you find things that are just petty problems with no real validity, eliminate them. Try to find the sources behind your words. For example, jealousy, are you jealous because you know he/she is cheating, or does it go deeper? Did someone cheat on you in the past and now you don’t trust anyone? Is your partner giving you what you need to feel secure? Once you realize where the feelings are coming from, you can address fixing the problem.
2. Resist making accusations. Approach your partner calmly, without being defensive. Tell him/her the problem. Don’t be accusing or they will become defensive and yes, you will end up in an argument. If you find it’s easier to write it in a letter, then do so. Leave while they read it so you aren’t hovering over them, waiting for their reaction. Let them process what you have said. Again, do not be accusing. Tell them you want to make your relationship better. Have suggestions for BOTH of you, not just them. Be sure you know the core problem and aren’t just mentioning a symptom.
3. Refrain from insulting your partner during arguments. Fighting dirty can quickly become a habit and eventually someone will say something that the other person cannot forget, or worse, forgive.
4. Take time to tell your partner why you love him/her. Not once, but often. This can be something as small as a compliment on how they look. Your partner needs to know you appreciate them. Don’t just assume they know. Everyone likes to be reminded they are loved.
5. Be supportive and look for ways to give your partner the things they need the most. Even if they don’t tell you what they need, you can figure it out if you pay attention. Some people have a hard time telling you what they need but there are clues. If you’re not sure, ask.
6. Don’t neglect yourself. If your needs aren’t being met, find a way to let your partner know. If you are unhappy, you will eventually blame your partner. It’s much easier to let them know, in a positive way, the things you need.
7. Never try to solve a problem when you are angry. Take time to cool down. I know this can seem impossible at times but think about it. Is anything ever really solved when you are yelling at each other?
8. Set aside some time for just the two of you. If not once a week, then at least once a month. This should be quality, alone time, however you two choose to spend it. You might try arranging a specific day each week and take turns planning what you will do.
9. Discuss decisions that affect the both of you and try to find a solution that will keep you both happy. Never make an important decision that affects you both without talking to your partner.
10. Don’t Lie! Everyone lies occasionally. It’s in our nature. This isn’t an excuse to lie to your partner. Every time you are caught in a lie, a little more trust is taken away. A healthy relationship requires trust. Never ever lie about things important to the relationship. You’re better off facing the music if you’ve done something wrong then being caught in a lie.
11. This won’t keep you together but it is important to mention. Know when it’s time to leave and make the break. Don’t let anyone use you or abuse you. Most problems can be worked out if both people in the relationship make an effort to improve things. There are some exceptions. It’s time to leave if the relationship becomes abusive. Do not hope things will get better because he/she says they will change. Leave! If at some future time they actually do change, you can consider getting back together then. Another deal breaker is infidelity. If your partner cheats on you, there is a good chance that even if you do stay together, the trust that keeps a relationship alive will be gone. I’m not saying you can’t survive it, but it will take a great deal of effort from both people and your partner will have to stop. Never give them more than one chance to do so or you will be setting yourself up for a very destructive emotional roller coaster. If your partner sees that it’s possible to cheat and you will keep forgiving, why would they change?

Patricia Fason is a writer and poet whose main focus is relationships. For more articles on relationships visit her website dedicated to romance, Sites O Web Romances You. There you will find articles, poetry, romance tips, romantic gifts and much more.

Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up

                

 

Breaking up.

The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don’t want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.

Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it.

Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.

Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It’s like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.

First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.

Write a letter

You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc… You don’t necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.

Make new friends.

You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc… ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success.

Pamper yourself.

Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm.

Stay away from unsupportive people

Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their caring for you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?” or “ There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us.”

Get a Pet

When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it’s all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.

Find at least 3 Passions

You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions.

Take cooking lessons, join travel single groups to Hawaii resorts, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate.

One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to have fun together and to be together.

Date Again.

Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won’t be threatening.

Get to the stage of feeling great being single

Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it.

Be and Feel Successful

And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur.

If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.

Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.

The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.

Wishing you great success in finding happiness again.

Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance because she is reading extensively on the subject. She is gladly sharing her knowledge and experience. To continue receiving tips on how to get the love life that you want, you can subscribe free to her newsletter at http://www.everydaybetterliving.com