Practical Advice To Get Over Your Break Up And Emerge Stronger

                

 

Break ups can be hard and there is no disputing that they are very painful. When you are going through a break up you may feel that you won't ever find another person like the one who broke your heart (someday you may be thankful for that) and you may even feel that you will be alone forever. Well, break ups are hard, you will survive, you'll be fine and you will emerge a stronger, smarter, better person because of it. In the meantime, follow these "break up guidelines" to help get you thorough.

Cry
 

Go ahead, it's OK to cry, get mad, throw stuff. Don't hold in your feelings, just let it all out. Yell, scream, do whatever makes you feel better. You may not want to post anything to the world wide web just yet, though, give yourself some time before you start blasting the person who ripped your bloody, beating heart from your body on your blog. Go ahead and put your pain on paper, but don't put it on the web right away. Things may look different in a week or so. Just chill for a while, but feel free to cry, scream and be mad as much as you want.

Take a Weekend to Regroup
 

Take a weekend, a week, as long as you need to regroup. Eat ice cream/oreos/pizza, cry, watch soppy movies, do whatever makes you feel better. Get some friends to come over and hang with you if that makes you feel better. This is your official time to wallow, feel sorry for yourself and maybe even hate a little. This is an important time to relax and let your feelings rise to the surface. Allow yourself to hurt, allow yourself to be angry. This is your time.

Write a Song
 

Writing can be very cleansing. Write a song, write a poem, write a bunch of random words, it will make you feel better. But if you are thinking about posting your writing to your blog or online journal, you might want to hold off. The knee-jerk emotional reaction can cause you to post things in public that you may regret later. However, if you are writing on paper, knock yourself out! Write a song about how you feel. The song "I'm Sorry You're Ugly" by Ligeia and similar verses probably started out just this way.

Get Back on the Horse
 

After you take some time, go ahead and get back on that horse. Go out and have fun. This is really not the best time to start a new relationship, but it is a good time to play the field. If you do meet someone who is interesting to you, someone you think you would like to have a relationship with, take it slow. You do not want to go with someone on the rebound and wind up getting hurt again. Keep your heart to yourself for a while and give it time to heal before you put it out there again.

How to Break Up with a Girlfriend in 5 Painless Steps

                

 

"Breaking up is hard to do!"

As that old song goes, breaking up with a girlfriend is something which can be quite challenging. You want to end the relationship, but you don't want to her hurt her feelings.

So how can you break up with a girlfriend without hurting her feelings?

Well you can't!

No matter what happens, break ups tend to cause at least SOME hurt feelings. However there is right AND wrong way to do it. If you know how to handle a break up with a girl, then you'll give her the least amount of pain.

Here is your 5 step plan for accomplishing this:

Step 1- Be prepared for a little drama

Nobody likes being told that they're "not good enough" for a relationship- especially women. When you break up with your girlfriend, you should expect a wide range of emotions. This can include tears, anger or even happiness.

This means you should be prepared to handle whatever reaction she has to the break up. Just remain calm and don't react to her different emotions.

Step 2- Let her be the first one to know

To save her feelings much as possible, she should be the first one to know about the breakup. Don't make the mistake of telling other people before you talk to her.

The reasoning behind is to save her future pain. If finds out later on that other people knew before she did, then she will be upset.

Step 3- Find a neutral and secluded spot

One of the worst places to break up with a woman is at a house or in a public place like a restaurant. As I've mentioned before, there might be a little drama during the break-up, so you want to select a place that is neutral and provides a bit of privacy.

Your best bet is to break up with her in a secluded spot like a park or a beach. By picking an area like this, you'll have time and privacy to ease the pain of the breakup.

Step 4- Keep it short and simple

When you break up with your girlfriend, don't give her a laundry list of everything that she does wrong. Just remember that she could make another guy really happy with her particular personality. So don't give her any "emotional baggage" by listing all her faults.

All you have to is let her know you're not happy with the relationship and that it's not going to work. Furthermore you should a show level of sadness about the end of the relationship.

Step 5- Be strong

As I mentioned before, you'll probably be faced with a wide range of emotions. It's human nature to try to comfort people when they're upset. This is especially true when you see a woman in pain.

But you have to remember there are concrete reasons why you're breaking up with this girl. So you have to remain strong and resolute in your decision to end things.

No matter what happens, you must stand by your decision.

As you know by now breaking up is hard to do. But if you follow this 5 step plan of action, you'll be able to do in the least painless manner. Then you both can move on with your lives and start dating other people.

Want to learn 50 different ways for meeting, approaching and attracting women? If so, take a look at Scott Patterson's Free eBook which provides 50 tips for instant dating success

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Prevent a Break Up

                

 

The question I am asked most often is: I think he/she is getting ready to leave me. What do I do? There isn't an easy answer for this or there wouldn’t be any break ups. Every situation is different and sometimes breakups are inevitable. However this is not always the case and there are things you can do before you reach the breaking point that will help.

Here are the 10 most important things:

1. Communicate. Communication is important. If you find that when you try to communicate your feelings to your partner it always leads to an argument, try writing your feelings down. Read through what you’ve written. If you find things that are just petty problems with no real validity, eliminate them. Try to find the sources behind your words. For example, jealousy, are you jealous because you know he/she is cheating, or does it go deeper? Did someone cheat on you in the past and now you don’t trust anyone? Is your partner giving you what you need to feel secure? Once you realize where the feelings are coming from, you can address fixing the problem.
2. Resist making accusations. Approach your partner calmly, without being defensive. Tell him/her the problem. Don’t be accusing or they will become defensive and yes, you will end up in an argument. If you find it’s easier to write it in a letter, then do so. Leave while they read it so you aren’t hovering over them, waiting for their reaction. Let them process what you have said. Again, do not be accusing. Tell them you want to make your relationship better. Have suggestions for BOTH of you, not just them. Be sure you know the core problem and aren’t just mentioning a symptom.
3. Refrain from insulting your partner during arguments. Fighting dirty can quickly become a habit and eventually someone will say something that the other person cannot forget, or worse, forgive.
4. Take time to tell your partner why you love him/her. Not once, but often. This can be something as small as a compliment on how they look. Your partner needs to know you appreciate them. Don’t just assume they know. Everyone likes to be reminded they are loved.
5. Be supportive and look for ways to give your partner the things they need the most. Even if they don’t tell you what they need, you can figure it out if you pay attention. Some people have a hard time telling you what they need but there are clues. If you’re not sure, ask.
6. Don’t neglect yourself. If your needs aren’t being met, find a way to let your partner know. If you are unhappy, you will eventually blame your partner. It’s much easier to let them know, in a positive way, the things you need.
7. Never try to solve a problem when you are angry. Take time to cool down. I know this can seem impossible at times but think about it. Is anything ever really solved when you are yelling at each other?
8. Set aside some time for just the two of you. If not once a week, then at least once a month. This should be quality, alone time, however you two choose to spend it. You might try arranging a specific day each week and take turns planning what you will do.
9. Discuss decisions that affect the both of you and try to find a solution that will keep you both happy. Never make an important decision that affects you both without talking to your partner.
10. Don’t Lie! Everyone lies occasionally. It’s in our nature. This isn’t an excuse to lie to your partner. Every time you are caught in a lie, a little more trust is taken away. A healthy relationship requires trust. Never ever lie about things important to the relationship. You’re better off facing the music if you’ve done something wrong then being caught in a lie.
11. This won’t keep you together but it is important to mention. Know when it’s time to leave and make the break. Don’t let anyone use you or abuse you. Most problems can be worked out if both people in the relationship make an effort to improve things. There are some exceptions. It’s time to leave if the relationship becomes abusive. Do not hope things will get better because he/she says they will change. Leave! If at some future time they actually do change, you can consider getting back together then. Another deal breaker is infidelity. If your partner cheats on you, there is a good chance that even if you do stay together, the trust that keeps a relationship alive will be gone. I’m not saying you can’t survive it, but it will take a great deal of effort from both people and your partner will have to stop. Never give them more than one chance to do so or you will be setting yourself up for a very destructive emotional roller coaster. If your partner sees that it’s possible to cheat and you will keep forgiving, why would they change?

Patricia Fason is a writer and poet whose main focus is relationships. For more articles on relationships visit her website dedicated to romance, Sites O Web Romances You. There you will find articles, poetry, romance tips, romantic gifts and much more.

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Survive a Break Up

                

 

Break ups are never easy. You are a bundle of jealous, hurt, angry, resentful emotions. Your mood can swing from depression to bitter anger. The only thing you seem to think about is what went wrong, can I get him/her back or I’ll show him/her. The main theme in your life is ‘How can I feel better right NOW?’ Here are some suggestions that I hope will help.

 

1. Friends and Family. I know this may seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend time doing things together, not just talking and thinking about the break up. If this isn’t enough, you may consider a support group or counseling.
2. Resist the urge to beg. You want them back but not at any price. At the time it may seem the right thing to do but think about it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This doesn’t mean don’t try to work things out. If there is a chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt the situation.
3. Make a change in your life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself. Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a way to counteract that.
4. Understand your mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure. Don’t beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes, learn from them but dwelling on what might have been won’t help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also takes two to end one. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot of times the things you learned from this experience will make your next relationship stronger, as long as you make the necessary changes.
5. Start Dating. You won’t feel like it at first, but don’t stay away from other people for an extended period of time. Going out with other people can help the healing process and boast your ego.
6. Don’t fall prey to others. There will be people trying to sell you this or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don’t let people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. If you do buy something, understand that while there is a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it won’t.
7. Take up a hobby. Learn something new. There is probably something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time. You have the time, do it.
8. Don’t rush into another relationship. While starting to date can help you feel better, it’s not a good idea to rush right into another relationship. Take time to heal before making any commitments or someone will probably end up getting hurt.
9. Avoid dwelling on it. I know it’s impossible not to think about it, but, if you find yourself doing so for an extended period of time, find a way to take your mind off of it. Call a friend; go to the gym, whatever comes to mind. If nothing seems to work, try this: Make a list of reasons why you are better off now. This could include I have time to do the things I want to do. I can date anyone I want to. I can find a partner who will appreciate me the way I am and stop wasting time on a doomed relationship. Think about the things they did that drove you crazy, because there are some. Don’t look back with rose colored glasses and only remember the good things. Don’t have the idea in your head that if only we were back together I would be happy. Wrong. Wouldn’t they have a lot to answer for if you did get back together? Leaving you was probably the biggest mistake they will ever make. Let them dwell on it, you move on!
10. Build your ego. I’ve touched on this already but it is very important. Find ways to feel better about yourself. This could be anything from getting a haircut to buying some new clothes. You could take a class on self improvement. If nothing else, you should do this: Make a list of things that make you a great person. Don’t sit there and tell me you can’t think of anything. I don’t buy it. Try again. Are you kind? Patient? Intelligent? Cook like a pro? Can fix anything? There are things that make you great. WRITE them down and whenever you feel low, read your list and add to it. You are you and you are great so don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you aren’t.

    Patricia Fason is a writer and poet whose main focus is relationships. For more articles on relationships visit her website dedicated to romance, Sites O Web Romances You. There you will find articles, poetry, romance tips, romantic gifts and much more.

Love Quiz - Will you Break-Up Soon?

                

 

Love and break-up are two sides of the same coin. It is invariably break-up after love.

For most of us it seems inevitable now a days. The question is only of time. Some couples break-up after many years, while some break-up after few months. What about you? Are you nearing a break-up? Quiz yourself and find out if your relationship of love is on brink now. Quiz and find out if the symptoms are already appearing?

How to find out if the break-up is due anytime now? Earlier you enjoyed being with your partner. Is it the same now, or you want to have more of personal space and want to be more with your friends? Quiz your buying habits for your partner. Earlier you gave lot of thought and money was not the only consideration to buy anything for your partner. Are you calculating money now a days? Do you let some occasion go without making a present? Quiz yourself about your talking habits. Earlier you never uttered a word that could hurt your partner. What about now? Are you as careful in selecting your words?

These are small indicators that will tell you the subtle changes that are taking place in your relationship. Watch for these changes and find out if you are sliding down towards an inevitable break-up?

Quiz yourself about your love, your care, your relationships and your desire for each other. Small quizzes will give you hints about large changes. Quiz is a great tool to find out about your life.

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