How to Get Over a Break Up - In 3 Simple Ways

                

 

Getting over a breakup can be one of the worst feelings ever on this planet. Your emotions would be all over the place you would lose control of your mind and you don't know what to do next. Seems as if life has come to a stand still and you simply can't seem to control your thoughts. Read on to discover some of the best ways to get over a breakup and achieve the desired results.

Think positive- Break up is a situation where your mind simply can't think positive at all. You get bombarded with negative thoughts from all corners and you simply can't control them. The best way to think positive after a breakup is to go for long walks. Yes long walks are known to be the best when it comes to thinking positive and taking control of your emotions.

It's past and it's over- Stop living in the past. Maybe the breakup took place for a good reason. Look out at the world and smell the roses. There is much more to life than just crying over what has gone. Think about the present and the future.

Change your music- Several times people tend to listen to sad songs after a breakup. This would only worsen your already bad condition. Stop listening to sad songs try to put up some lively number which would raise your emotions and you would feel lighter.

Keep busy- When you sit at one place for too long trying to avoid certain painful thoughts they tend to come to you even more faster. Try keeping yourself as busy as possible maybe go out for a walk, going to the gym, and hanging out with friends. The more you keep yourself busy the lesser these thoughts would come to you.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know

How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

                

 

So you started a relationship with a cute, sweet girl who turned out to be an emotional wreck and possibly mentally insane. No problem, the hardest part is breaking up...err, actually it might be staying broke up, but first things first. Realize that any relationship you are in should improve both people's lives, and in this case focus on how your life currently is compared to how you would like it to be. If your life is not going the way you want it to, then follow these seven steps to break up with your girlfriend:

1. Take a break from each other - Tell your girlfriend you're taking some time alone (and give her a definite day when you will be done). Keep it to about a week or two at the most, since at this point in the relationship things are probably rocky and you don't want to draw out the pain too long. It is crucial that you not see her or speak to her at all (or as little as possible). The reason you want to be completely away from her is so that your mind and body can clear the emotions which are clouding your reasoning and judgment. She will probably fight with you about this saying that 'she really needs you right now', or try to put some other guilt trip on you, but you must be firm and stand your ground.

2. Make a decision - Once your head is cleared and you've taken a step back from your situation, figure out what is best for you. Decide who and what you believe and be brutally honest with what kind of person your girlfriend really is. Does she lie? Have you suspected her of cheating? Can you trust her? Are you counting on her to change even though she has given you signs that she doesn't want to? Do you see a future with this woman and even the possibility that she could be the mother of your kids? Are you counting on the future to be different than what it is now (even though it will most likely be more of the same). Do you have ulterior motives for keeping this relationship alive (such as satisfying your family or friends, you don't think you will be able to find anyone else, etc)? Ask yourself, how would a real man act in this situation? Don't stay in a relationship just because you have 'history', it may be bad history and you want to end that as soon as possible.

3. Make a plan - If you've decided to end it, then you must figure out the implications when you break the news. Does she have possession of anything of yours that is valuable such as expensive electronics, memorabilia etc? Are the both of you in any joint contracts or ownership agreements such as real estate loans, car payments, credit cards, etc? Figure out a way that you can get out of any agreements and get your stuff back safely in case she flips out and goes on a rampage (such as having a mutual friend get your stuff while she is gone, etc).

4. Tell her your decision - Communicate to her in person exactly how you feel and what you've decided. Remember, the decision is over so do not ask, beg, or plead but tell her in a mature manner that is not spiteful, immature, or childish. Be prepared for threats against you or herself. Do not cave under the pressure; she will probably try to get you to reconsider any way possible. Expect tears. If she is seriously suicidal (and not just trying to manipulate you), then you should arrange for her friends to be nearby when you break the news and possibly some medical help as well.

5. Hold your ground - Forever. Do not doubt yourself or be swayed, the decision is final. Realize that people can change, but the chances are very small and any changes she may make in the future are most likely just surface changes not personal transformation.

6. Avoid her completely - Do not email, speak, or see her until you are comfortable with the idea of her having sex with someone else, then you can talk to her again (but with extreme caution and very limited). Remember, after you break up, it is crucial for your emotional connections to be severed completely so you can be truly free from her (this can take months or sometimes even years).

7. Be a man about it - If you decide to be ‘friends’ with her, be cordial and mature about it. Don't bring up old issues but treat her as a new guy friend. Don't be needy or go out of your way to help her, and especially don’t fall into mind games. If she tries to make you jealous, hit on you, or bring up old issues, stop her immediately and remind her you are only friends and if she keeps it up you are outta there!

Coming soon: How to get over your ex and stay broken up.

Ryan Randolph is the author the blog "Yang Town: The Path of Masculine Power" where he dives into psychology, genetics, social conditioning, spirituality, belief systems and other aspects of male-female interactions. The blog is found at www.yangtown.com

The Best Way to Break Up

                

 

There are ways to go about breaking up that will give you the best chance for a smoother trip through one of life's most difficult passages. This is an exceedingly sensitive time when it doesn't take much to stir things up. Fortunately, because we go through this with other couples a few thousand times a year, we know exactly what you can do, and the kinds of things you must avoid, to make breaking up as smooth as possible.

Whether you are a married couple, or have been living together in a long-term committed relationship, breaking up is almost always painful, but the essential thing is to avoid unnecessary pain and cost, much of which can be avoided or minimized if you are careful. It is essential to avoid words and actions that escalate from hurt, fear, and anger to hostility, lawyers, courts, and huge expenses. That would be very hard on you, on your kids if you have any, and devastating to your pocketbook.

For couples who are not married, breaking up presents many of the same challenges. In this discussion, if you replace divorce with breakup and spouse with partner, it will work the same for you.

If you decide to separate, don't do one more thing or say one more word to your spouse until you understand the rest of this article, and have read the other articles listed at the end. The way you announce the decision, or respond to it, will make a huge difference in the way things unwind.

The most common cause of conflict in separation and divorce is lack of mutuality in the decision—in other words, both spouses haven't accepted the idea that you're breaking up. Ideally, the decision would be arrived at together, but in most cases one spouse decides alone after taking time to think about it, get advice from friends or professionals, process emotions and make plans.

Once the decision is made, it is presented to the other spouse as a done deal and the sooner the better. Opportunities to solve problems and possibly save the relationship have been lost. What's worse, a long, hard divorce is more likely because the first spouse is ready to break up right away while the other spouse is upset and still working through denial and resistance. This person hasn't had time to process the reality and will be in some kind of emotional upset, in no way ready to discuss details or work out accommodations.

This is not a good time to push along on the breakup, even though the first spouse is ready and highly motivated to do so. Moving along too quickly at this point is the root cause of a lot more trouble to follow. If you are the first to decide, you are in a unique and powerful position to affect the future tone of the divorce. By being abrupt and insensitive, you can almost guarantee a bitter, expensive divorce.

If you want to encourage a sane resolution of divorce issues, be patient, be sensitive, but most of all, slow down. Give your spouse time to process the changes. Stay positive and as close to your spouse as possible. You can express caring and concern while being firm in your decision. Work with your spouse until you can both accept the fact that going your separate ways is inevitable, and you can both focus on moving forward. This is the best way to break up, and will lead to the best result.

To further prepare yourself before letting your spouse know you want to break up, read my other articles posted at this site:

What Divorce is Really About

Divorce--Obstacles to Agreement

Divorce--Overcoming Obstacles to Agreement

Divorce--Negotiating Agreement

Divorce--Ten Ways to Divide Property Without a Fight

Divorce--When the Date of Separation Matters

Divorce--How to Protect Your Children

Divorce--The Best and Worst Kinds of Help

Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press and Divorce Helpline. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from http://www.nolodivorce.com or by calling (800) 464-

Relationship Advice: After the Break Up - Creating an Exit Door in Your Heart

                

 

Q. It's been over a year since the guy I thought I would be married to broke up with me. He said he was just scared to make the commitment. I felt like I tried really hard and did the best I could in this one. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday. I can't seem to get over this no matter how hard I try. I'm afraid that there will never be anyone else that I can get that close to or who will understand me. I keep trying to figure out where I went wrong.

A. A year is a long time to feel bad, and usually much longer than is necessary.

I'm going to guess about a few things that might be going on here.

Reliving the relationship

Many times when a person is still feeling as bad as you do more than a year later, it's because you've spent the last year reliving the relationship. This comes in the form of trying to figure out exactly what went wrong, fueled by the inaccurate belief that if you could just figure out exactly what went wrong, then you could let go.

The reality is that spending so much time trying to figure out what went wrong keeps you attached to the relationship and prevents you from moving on.

Relationships are messy things, and many times we can never really know exactly what went wrong.

Our brains are very obedient at times. If you keep asking your brain to figure out what you did wrong, it's going to search for all kinds of reasons, and you are going to wind up feeling like a failure.

My guess is while the relationship failed, you did not.

If you are with someone who is just not ready to commit, you cannot fail.

This is because when there is no possibility of success, you simply cannot fail.

Differences between men and women

I'm about to speak in general about the differences between men and women, which is always a dangerous thing. But here goes: In general, men have two doors to their hearts, one marked enter and one marked exit. Women don't have an exit door to their hearts, which makes getting over someone much more difficult.

Creating an exit door

You need to create an exit door in your heart and then show this guy, and the pain and hurt, right out the door.

Relationships end.

If the desired outcome and measure of success is a committed marriage, then all the other relationships before marriage are failed relationships.

But if you handled yourself well, feel good about your behavior and choices, and even used what you learned in other relationships in this one, then you were successful.

Consider what you learned in this relationship that you can use to make the next one(s) better.

If you learned what a commitment-challenged guy looks like and that these relationships don't work out, then it was time well spent.

Make a list of all the things you learned from this one that will help you in the future.

Since this guy was too scared to commit, then he did you a favor by breaking up with you. Marriage to a commitment-challenged person is a disaster and a divorce looking for a place to happen.

Here's a fun little trick to help show this guy out the exit door of your heart:

Imagine a picture of the relationship in your mind. It feels like it's right out in front of you, a few inches from your face, and difficult to see past. Take that picture and imagine moving it off to the side of you, out of view. Feels better, doesn't it?

Practice this and you will be able to show him the exit door to your heart, and soon, you will picture it behind you altogether.

And then you will be ready to move on.

Leading relationship expert Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Nationally Syndicated Relationship columnist.

You can read more practical tips, common sense relationship advice and occasional humor at his website SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

Love Quiz - Will you Break-Up Soon?

                

 

Love and break-up are two sides of the same coin. It is invariably break-up after love.

For most of us it seems inevitable now a days. The question is only of time. Some couples break-up after many years, while some break-up after few months. What about you? Are you nearing a break-up? Quiz yourself and find out if your relationship of love is on brink now. Quiz and find out if the symptoms are already appearing?

How to find out if the break-up is due anytime now? Earlier you enjoyed being with your partner. Is it the same now, or you want to have more of personal space and want to be more with your friends? Quiz your buying habits for your partner. Earlier you gave lot of thought and money was not the only consideration to buy anything for your partner. Are you calculating money now a days? Do you let some occasion go without making a present? Quiz yourself about your talking habits. Earlier you never uttered a word that could hurt your partner. What about now? Are you as careful in selecting your words?

These are small indicators that will tell you the subtle changes that are taking place in your relationship. Watch for these changes and find out if you are sliding down towards an inevitable break-up?

Quiz yourself about your love, your care, your relationships and your desire for each other. Small quizzes will give you hints about large changes. Quiz is a great tool to find out about your life.

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