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Monday, January 28, 2008

How to Deal With a Break Up

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How to deal with a break up? Ending a relationship is the hardest thing to do. You are looking for answers but you see none and you keep crying and getting depressed. You keep asking yourself how to deal with a break up and start to feel alone and dumped. Breaking up or getting dumped is the most painful thing you could experience in a relationship. A mutual attraction that bloomed into a joyful and lovely relationship is hard to end when one or both became uncomfortable due to a lot of reasons. It hurts and it’s hard to accept that the person you love is no longer with you now and you need to learn how to deal with a break up.

At this stage when the break up is new you have to learn how to deal with a break up. Cry if you have to, it’s alright. Allow yourself to grieve; it’s the first step of healing. For men, it’s okay to cry, you are a human being who is deeply hurt. Cry if you need too, but of course you have to be discreet and don’t just cry anywhere because people might think you are getting crazy. You are hurt but you still have the responsibility to keep your sanity and keep your self in tact.

Break ups doesn’t always mean its permanent, sometimes it does mean you and your partner need space to think things over. Getting back together after a break up needs time. Use the time and space you both have to think things over. You and your partner can think clearly and may realize the importance of getting back together.

While you have your space to find out how to deal with a break up, there are things you can do to feel better. One thing is talk to people close to you or share your feeling with someone. You will feel better if you talk about your feeling to people close to you and cry on the shoulder of a friend or a family member.

Discovering how to deal with a break up includes loving yourself more. Do not blame yourself if the relationship needs to end. It’s not your fault, relationships are complicated and most people go through rough times when it comes to relationships. If you start to blame yourself, you will get depressed and even lonelier. Think of the good qualities you have and be in the company of your friends who will always remind you of your good qualities. To know how to deal with a break up is to realize that you need to love yourself more. You need this to get through the loneliness of break ups. Take care of yourself and don’t appear too depressed and sad. To deal with a break up with positive attitude will attract positive things and you will feel better if you will only think of positive things.

While you figure out how to deal with a break up, this is also the time to enjoy and do things you want to do. If you enjoy going to the gym with your friends then do it. If you love to teach children or be involved in community work, now you have all the time to do it. You may discover new things or rediscover yourself. Give yourself time to heal and think things over. This is good for you and your partner and when you finally see each other again you may see things differently and with new perspective.

Did you know that there are couples who have worked things out and get back together for good? You can mend your broken heart and bring back your lover. If you seriously, seriously want to bring back the love of your life visit Love and Relationships.

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including how to deal with a break up.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Don't Let The Fine Line Cause A Break Up Or Divorce

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There is a fine line between love and hate. No more is this seen than in the aftermath of a complicated break up or divorce. And if you have ever been unfortunate enough to have experienced this, you will understand exactly what I mean. It seems that when relationship troubles start to surface we try our hardest to make things work. This in actual fact can be catastrophic if the relationship has issues that are being ignored and for want of a better phrase ‘swept under the carpet’ in the quest for superficial happiness. This type of ‘first aid’ seems good for the short term, however if the original issues are not dealt with then this can cause an explosive end to the relationship.

If you are going through a break up at the moment, then use this time as an opportunity. Think about how you can make your future relationships better, who knows you may even wish to try and rekindle your old one. One way that you can solve many past and present issues is by using Hypnotherapy. Hypnosis is great for working on issues like this as it deals directly with the area of you mind that makes you – YOU! For years Hypnosis has been widely considered one of the best ways to do things like Stop Smoking, Lose Weight and Manage Stress; however it can now be applied to many Relationships issues, such as Jealousy, Anger Management and Infidelity. Hypnosis can also be used successfully on sexual issues including Impotent, Premature Ejaculation, Improved Female Orgasm and Frigidity including others.

In Hypnosis you will become very relaxed, but will remain completely aware of what is going on around you. A lot of people have some very misguided opinions of Hypnosis, which makes life interesting for me to say the least. The biggest question that I get asked is ‘Does it work?’. This one always makes me laugh! Hypnosis is a science. As a hypnotherapist I spend my life researching what makes people do what they do and also why they feel the way that they feel. I then work with them to find away to change this so that that can do what the WANT to do and feel the way that they WANT to feel.

So if you are experiencing troubles in your relationship or you need some help getting over a break up or divorce, then you should seriously consider using Hypnosis. The technique is so mainstream now that you can even get instant downloads from the internet to help you with a whole host of issues.

Richard MacKenzie is a Pro when it comes to helping people trough Breaks Ups he also have a successful Break Ups Hypnosis Download

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

Relationship Over? 7 Steps to Survive a Break-Up or Divorce

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Are you struggling with letting go of a past love? We all know how painful it can be when walking away from a relationship. You may be dealing with feelings that can be overwhelming and at times you need a bit of guidance to help keep you on track. As difficult as it may be right now, keep in mind that your feelings are normal and simply part of a process that you will get beyond. Follow these 7 steps in healing a broken heart and you will begin the process of letting go and moving on.

1. ACCEPTANCE: Until you face reality, you won't begin to let go. Accepting that your relationship is over is the first step in putting the past behind you.

2. MAKE A CLEAN BREAK: None of this on-again-off-again stuff. You will only prolong the inevitable.

3. IT'S OKAY TO GRIEVE: Don't feel bad for feeling bad. You are going through a very normal process that you will get beyond. Just give yourself some time.

4. FOCUS ON YOURSELF: Indulge yourself. Pamper yourself. Do the things that make you feel good again. You are going through a tough time right now, so be good to yourself. Loving yourself is the best gift you can give yourself.

5. IMPROVE YOURSELF: This is an opportunity to begin a journey into self-discovery. Getting your self-esteem back on track is key to your recovery. Discover what you want from life and go after it.

6. LEARN TO FORGIVE: Forgiving frees you from the chains of the past and allows you to let go of anger and resentment. If you choose not to forgive the only person you hurt is yourself.

7. MOVE ON: The end is just the beginning! Learn from your mistakes and pick up the pieces so you can move on and go after the kind of life and relationship you deserve.

The sooner you take action and do what is good for you, the sooner you will be moving toward the kind of life and relationship you really want. Find the courage to pull yourself out of this funk. Take charge of your life and you will find that there actually is life after What's-His-Name! You just have to make the decision so you can move on.

Take little steps each day and you will be amazed that you are starting to feel better. Lean on your friends and remember, time really does heal all wounds.

Read more about it at: http://www.whystay.com

Susan Russo is the President of Pinnacle Thought Inc. Publisher for books and resources which provide inspiration, self-empowerment and the tools and strategies to help move you toward personal success and fulfillment. She is editor of "You've Got Power" ezine and author of "There Is Life After What's-His-Name.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Break-up Advice for Men - Don't Leave Like a Louse!

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BREAK-UP ETIQUETTE FOR THE “UNENLIGHTENED” MAN

Imagine this.

Imagine that you report to your job for what would appear to be a typical work day. From all previous indications, your employer has been very satisfied with your performance. You arrive early, get to your office door, and the key won’t fit. It appears that the lock has been changed. Even worse, you notice your nameplate has been removed from the door as well. There’s no one around to ask questions. But it‘s obvious that your worst fear has been realized; you’ve been fired! And with no warning, no explanation, and no recourse!

Imagine the confusion and the many unanswered questions this scenario would cause. Imagine the anger and disappointment. Multiply it by 100 times. That’s a fraction of what it feels like to a woman you’ve mysteriously dumped!

Let’s face it. Sometimes the need to sever ties from a former partner happens. “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling” or an old flame resurfaces to light your fire. Or perhaps it’s just irreconcilable differences. And it makes no sense to stick around and stay miserable. Right? It happens. There’s really no totally pain free way to move on.

But that doesn’t mean you should have a callous attitude, or opt for the coward’s way out. Contrary to the popular song-- there aren’t “50 ways to leave your lover!” The way you leave a relationship speaks volumes about the type of “man” you are. It also shapes a woman’s future perceptions of herself and love in general. Bitter break-ups produce bitter women!

Here’s an online blog entry from a “woman scorned” that typifies many women’s experiences: “I’m feeling so rejected, hurt and confused lately. Not a peep from the jerk. How could I have misread him so? I really thought he was a stand-up guy. I just don’t understand why every guy I have fallen for in the past 4 years has pulled practically the same thing.”

Unfortunately, cycles perpetuate. Peter pays for the sins of Paul. According to John Gray, Ph.D. and author of Mars and Venus on a Date, “Good endings create good beginnings.” As someone who has been both the dumper and the dumpee in my relationships, I can attest, there is an art to ending an affair.

Here’s the “politically correct” way to pull it off!

¨ DON’T FALL FOR THE GRASS IS GREENER FALLACY--ASSESS. Before leaving one woman to run to the arms of another, make sure that what you are risking is worth the tradeoff! Many times guys find a new love interest enticing just because of the unexplored pleasures and possibilities. The novelty. After the passage of time and getting to know the person, they find that what they bargained for is really less than what they already had. And often too late to do anything to rectify the situation.

¨ BE SENSITIVE TO HER FEELINGS- Practice the Golden Rule. Don’t take the easy way out by sending her an E-mail or leaving a message on her answering machine. It’s really uncool and unkind. Unless she has a history of violence, do it in person. Or by a phone call, or a caring, compassionate letter.

¨ IF THERE IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE WORKED UPON, TALK IT OUT FIRST. Communication is crucial to any successful, enduring relationship.

¨ DON’T BASH HER OR BLAME HER FOR EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG. It takes two to make or break a relationship. ¨ HAVE A HEART- If there’s something that you can share in the way of constructive criticism that might help in the future, then do so.

¨ DON’T OFFER FRIENDSHIP- At least not right away. It’s offensive, and feels like a demotion. Unless the two of you started out as friends initially.

¨ KEEP IN MIND A BASIC LAW OF THE UNIVERSE—What goes around comes around. Karma is a killer!

¨ DON’T KISS AND TELL—It’s in poor taste, and if it gets back to her, it would only serve to deepen her pain

¨ DON’T MAKE A MOVE ON HER BEST FRIEND! For reasons that I hope are obvious.

¨ GIVE HER AN EXPLANATION THAT’S FAIR AND REASONABLE—Please don’t use the line that you need to “find yourself” it’s getting old!

¨ DON’T BEOME M.I.A. (Missing in action)—Many immature and insensitive guys choose this exit strategy. They simply stop calling or coming around “cold-turkey”, concluding that a woman will eventually “figure it out”. The terrible thing about this way of operating, is that it is the worse of all. It never allows a lover to bring closure to the relationship and heal properly.

Keep in mind that these are general guidelines. Each situation should be evaluated on an individual basis. For example, if there is concern that a woman has the potential to become a “fatal attraction,” you may want to just change your address, go into seclusion for a while, and forget the above steps! Good luck with that.

HERE’S HOPING FOR SMOOTHER TRANSITIONS AND LASTING LOVE!

Jennifer Brown Banks is a veteran freelance writer, and writes a weekly relationship column for Online Dating Magazine. She is the author of "A Paradox in Pink."

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Monday, January 7, 2008

Love Quiz - Will you Break-Up Soon?

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Love and break-up are two sides of the same coin. It is invariably break-up after love.

For most of us it seems inevitable now a days. The question is only of time. Some couples break-up after many years, while some break-up after few months. What about you? Are you nearing a break-up? Quiz yourself and find out if your relationship of love is on brink now. Quiz and find out if the symptoms are already appearing?

How to find out if the break-up is due anytime now? Earlier you enjoyed being with your partner. Is it the same now, or you want to have more of personal space and want to be more with your friends? Quiz your buying habits for your partner. Earlier you gave lot of thought and money was not the only consideration to buy anything for your partner. Are you calculating money now a days? Do you let some occasion go without making a present? Quiz yourself about your talking habits. Earlier you never uttered a word that could hurt your partner. What about now? Are you as careful in selecting your words?

These are small indicators that will tell you the subtle changes that are taking place in your relationship. Watch for these changes and find out if you are sliding down towards an inevitable break-up?

Quiz yourself about your love, your care, your relationships and your desire for each other. Small quizzes will give you hints about large changes. Quiz is a great tool to find out about your life.

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