Stopping A Break Up Before It Happens

                

 

Couples part ways for many reasons. Many other factors come into a relationship failing, but for the purpose of stopping the break up in its tracks, we won't focus on any one reason in particular. I will say however, that if you are in a relationship where there is any kind of abuse, or your partner is addicted to alcohol or drugs, you should not be there. I am speaking from experience here. Do not shatter your self esteem one second longer by remaining in a relationship like this, especially when nothing is changing and your partner will not get help. You know there is better for you out there.

Any other problem can be solved with hard work. If you still love your partner and you cannot imagine your life without them, I would encourage you to try and save your relationship. But, "hold on" you may say. "What about infidelity?" Relationships can survive this, it just depends on whether the couple want to be together.

Firstly, you must look at the reasons behind your not wanting to end the relationship. Is it because you would feel lonely? This is not a good enough reason. You are after a companion, not a lover. Your relationship is not built on love, which is unfair to your partner. So you must do the right thing and let them go.

Secondly; what are the reasons they are giving for wanting to end the relationship? Are they blaming you for everything? Remember that it takes two to have a relationship and break it up as well. So make sure you take responsibility for what you have contributed to the break up, and if your partner is not doing the same, it is possible you won't ever see eye to eye on things.

Lastly and most importantly, keep your dignity. Do not beg your lover to stay. Show them that you love them in every way possible however; remain dignified in your actions. Put in a consistent effort to improve the relationship, show them that you are serious about working on the relationship. And most importantly be accepting of his or her feelings.

If all else fails and they walk out the door, all is not lost. You will need to be prepared to be patient and work on yourself before approaching your ex and asking to get back together. It is harder once they have left the relationship to win them back however, it is still possible.

Janelle Coulton

To read more about Stopping Your Breakup, please visit Jel's Stop Your Break-up Page

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Janelle Coulton (aka Jel) is a professional writer of articles, essays and short stories. She is passionate about writing and helping people who have questions about human relationships or have relationship troubles. Her work can be provocative, controversial and funny, she loves to encourage her readers to look at the big picture. Jel also runs a relationship group at Yahoo! YOu can vist Jel's Yahoo! Group here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StopBreakup/

You will find more information, articles and relationship advice at Jel's websites:

http://www.freewebs.com/jel1/index.htm

How to Move on From Break Up and Find Happiness

                

 

No one can make us unhappy unless we let them. It is not what happens in our life that brings unhappiness; it is how we choose to react to what happens that sets the mood for our feeling and emotions. I say this to allow you to take personal responsibility for your reaction in every situation.

Consciously choosing your reaction is very empowering, especially if you choose to react in a positive, life-supporting way. When we love unconditionally, we love because it brings us happiness and we get pleasure from giving the love we hold in our heart.

By sharing this love unconditionally, we give it without strings attached; no one has to show up in a particular way; we just express the joy we are feeling within our Self and share it with our friends or lovers.

When you love unconditionally you can open your heart fully, knowing you cannot be hurt because you are in control of your love. You are giving it out freely from an infinite source to all those you come in contact with.

When you love unconditionally you can love in many directions simultaneously. You can have many friends and share your joy, because you are creating this from within and expressing this joy to your environment through your emotions, feeling and senses.

This process puts you fully in charge. You are not waiting to receive from the other person - you are creating the situation and flowing your love outwards.

This state of giving unconditionally comes about when we relax, allow our mind to settle down, and connect with the Universal Life Force within. This has many advantages as, when we are in tune with the universe, every thought, word and deed we have is supported by the universe and easily finds fulfillment.

When our energies are strong and we have a good connection to Source, our body radiates health and balance. People are naturally drawn to us and we are happy and carefree, as we are in the mood for giving, just for the pleasure it brings.

It is easy to switch from a state of depression and lack to this state of inner fulfillment and joy, just by choosing to do so. By focusing one's energy on oneself and loving oneself, one charges oneself up with love.

This can also be achieved through various spiritual practices. On my HealerGeorge website I have created a number of Guided Meditations which connect you to your source energy and allow you to bring your energies back into balance in a natural way. You feel fully charged up and go out in the world with enthusiasm and joy.

So if you feel you have received a knock from Nature, look within and be the source of your experience. Open your heart to life and allow your love to flow out freely. Remember you are connected to the Universal Life Force, which is eternal; it contains the source energy for the whole universe and is so full it is beyond limit.

Connect yourself to this source and be a part of the New Spirituality, connected to Oneness. Everything in the Universe has its source in this Oneness and everything you give comes back to Oneness. So come out to play in this field of love; give freely and create the abundance that is the birthright of all.

By George E. Lockett SSHA, IIHHT -- HealerGeorge Tel: +44 (0)1286 882701 Visit HealerGeorge's web site to experience the power of Distant Healing or listen to HealerGeorge Radio giving Questions and Answer advice mixed with Spiritual Music. You can also enjoy many free benefits on HealerGeorge, like listening to Free Guided Meditations. Why not order HealerGeorge's Latest book entitled "A Journey into The Self - The Multi-dimensional Nature of Being Human" By George E Lockett. It is all available off the web site. HealerGeorge Web Site and New Book Description: What is this book going to do for YOU? For those who are seeking a complete energetic makeover, as you read it you will feel a stirring and awakening in the depths of your heart. For those who have questions about Shifts in Consciousness, Energy Balancing, and Healing within the body, you will find clear answers.

Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up

                

 

Breaking up.

The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don’t want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.

Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it.

Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.

Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It’s like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.

First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.

Write a letter

You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc… You don’t necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.

Make new friends.

You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc… ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success.

Pamper yourself.

Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm.

Stay away from unsupportive people

Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their caring for you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?” or “ There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us.”

Get a Pet

When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it’s all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.

Find at least 3 Passions

You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions.

Take cooking lessons, join travel single groups to Hawaii resorts, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate.

One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to have fun together and to be together.

Date Again.

Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won’t be threatening.

Get to the stage of feeling great being single

Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it.

Be and Feel Successful

And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur.

If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.

Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.

The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.

Wishing you great success in finding happiness again.

Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance because she is reading extensively on the subject. She is gladly sharing her knowledge and experience. To continue receiving tips on how to get the love life that you want, you can subscribe free to her newsletter at http://www.everydaybetterliving.com