Stopping A Break Up Before It Happens

                

 

Couples part ways for many reasons. Many other factors come into a relationship failing, but for the purpose of stopping the break up in its tracks, we won't focus on any one reason in particular. I will say however, that if you are in a relationship where there is any kind of abuse, or your partner is addicted to alcohol or drugs, you should not be there. I am speaking from experience here. Do not shatter your self esteem one second longer by remaining in a relationship like this, especially when nothing is changing and your partner will not get help. You know there is better for you out there.

Any other problem can be solved with hard work. If you still love your partner and you cannot imagine your life without them, I would encourage you to try and save your relationship. But, "hold on" you may say. "What about infidelity?" Relationships can survive this, it just depends on whether the couple want to be together.

Firstly, you must look at the reasons behind your not wanting to end the relationship. Is it because you would feel lonely? This is not a good enough reason. You are after a companion, not a lover. Your relationship is not built on love, which is unfair to your partner. So you must do the right thing and let them go.

Secondly; what are the reasons they are giving for wanting to end the relationship? Are they blaming you for everything? Remember that it takes two to have a relationship and break it up as well. So make sure you take responsibility for what you have contributed to the break up, and if your partner is not doing the same, it is possible you won't ever see eye to eye on things.

Lastly and most importantly, keep your dignity. Do not beg your lover to stay. Show them that you love them in every way possible however; remain dignified in your actions. Put in a consistent effort to improve the relationship, show them that you are serious about working on the relationship. And most importantly be accepting of his or her feelings.

If all else fails and they walk out the door, all is not lost. You will need to be prepared to be patient and work on yourself before approaching your ex and asking to get back together. It is harder once they have left the relationship to win them back however, it is still possible.

Janelle Coulton

To read more about Stopping Your Breakup, please visit Jel's Stop Your Break-up Page

Endnote: Webmasters and siteowners are more than welcome to use this article as content for their site or blog. Please ensure you reprint this article exactly as you found it.

Janelle Coulton (aka Jel) is a professional writer of articles, essays and short stories. She is passionate about writing and helping people who have questions about human relationships or have relationship troubles. Her work can be provocative, controversial and funny, she loves to encourage her readers to look at the big picture. Jel also runs a relationship group at Yahoo! YOu can vist Jel's Yahoo! Group here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StopBreakup/

You will find more information, articles and relationship advice at Jel's websites:

http://www.freewebs.com/jel1/index.htm

How To Deal With A Break Up

                

 

To learn how to deal with a break up you should first understand that it's still possible to get back together and if that doesn't work it's not the end of world anyway and there are many other great opportunities for new relationships that shouldn't be missed out just because you got stuck on this one.

But before you start trying to get back together you need to take some time off your relationship that got into dead end even if that seems as impossible task because you want it so badly and patience is not what you are looking for. Well both of you need to forget about negative emotions that come with breakup and your eagerness and impatience will be as major turnoff for your ex lover and additional reason to avoid any contact with you.

Any break up event makes the one who was dumped less confident about their self and regaining that confidence is one of most essential parts to learning how to deal with a break up because it will ensure that next time you meet your ex lover this mystery why you aren't feeling bad about breaking up will make your ex curious and think about it more and more with each encounter.

To regain your confidence simply go out and socialize with friends or family and possibly even meet new people to make this more fun and useful since you possibly could meet someone for a potentially new much better relationship. Do this even more frequently than before when you were in relationship as you now have more free time and can try even dating with someone. This will also allow you to think less of any negative emotions related to recent breakup.

Also working out is great way to work on yourself and increase your confidence since you will look better and most importantly feel better because you are increasing your energy levels as well. Once you feel that your confidence level is back on track and are ready to meet your ex try to make this encounter as occasional as possible to not trigger any assumptions that you are trying to get back together. If this happens in crowded event when you are not alone with your ex try to not push and keep it light.

Short conversation that includes only small talk about non relationship topics is advisable and then find a way to show yourself as having fun with other people. What's most important is to show that you were not damaged by that breakup and continue to live your life fully and having fun even without your ex.

With each next encounter you can start having longer conversations and slowly involving also relationship topics but try to limit those to things that were high points for both of you and only associated positive feelings. Such situations usually can be found during beginning stages of any relationship so basically try to remember what made it clinch for both of you back then and try to repeat something similar.

For more articles on this subject please visit my site at Articlepedia.org and turn your life upside down filled with positive emotions.

How to deal with a break up

How To Get Over A Break Up - The Secret To Avoid Losing A Woman's Attention

                

 

Have you ever had a girlfriend break up with you, or just drift away, and the more you tried to hold on, the further she ran from you? And the more you tried to be a good guy and please her, the more distant she became?

So what's up with that? Why does this happen?

Here's my take, after studying this stuff for years now:

It is all too easy to become a nice, overly-accommodating, predictable, boring guy, sharing “how you feel” about girl too often, and lastly you become more and more submissive. Even though it seems logical that a woman should love to be treated like a queen at all times, but this combination usually cause the girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she once had for you and she usually has no way of explaining or understanding why. It will leads to a girl leave you.

I know it sounds doesn’t make sense for most of guys. It can happens because attraction is very different for women than it is for men. Men are attracted more to looks, women are attracted more to personality and character. For women, attraction is triggered by male qualities like: Dominance, Humor, Unpredictability, Adventure, Strength, Sexual Awareness, Indifference, etc.

Being nice, accommodating and understanding is great for friendships and social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION. Women doesn’t want a guy that she can push around. She doesn’t want a guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn’t want a little boy that she can train and raise. What woman wants is a MAN.

So, it is very important to understand how attraction works for women and how to keep the attraction going when you are with her. Besides that, you must understanding yourself, don't allow yourself to act like a wussy and become boring and turn a good thing into a bad one. Instead you do the right things to keep everything on the right track.

Here are 3 simple tips what you should do to avoid getting the horrible position of losing a woman's attention :

1. Never Become Boring

Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to attraction. There's nothing that will kill the sparks faster than her knowing what you're about to do or say.

2. Don’t hand over control

Women like men who make decisions and take the lead. Women don’t like men that they can control, so don’t be that one.

3. Respect yourself and keep your own interests

When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants to spend as much time as possible with her. This is natural, but there is a big danger here as well. If you put your life aside for a woman, you will become less interesting to her. As soon as you start acting like she's going to be around forever, she'll start feeling less and less ATTRACTION for you

Now you are ready to make a big difference in your relationship with a woman you really like by applying what you have learnt in this article. The secret key is if you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women. GOOD LUCK!

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted nice guys? How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who did not treat her even HALF as well as you did?

Find out the answers on the 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes You Probably Make With Women – And What to Do About It and get FREE NEWSLETTER (3 Times a Week) plus FREE EBOOK by visiting http://www.freewebs.com/herm4n/whymenfailwithwomen.htm

What to Do After a Divorce or Break Up

                

 

To lose your partner is always painful. It is a heartbreak, any way you look at it. It hurts. Your body aches and your heart feels like it is going to explode. And you are face to face with the most important decision in your life.

The choice you make at this moment determines how the rest of your life unfolds. When you are hurt by divorce or a break up or a death, you can feel the emotional pain or continue to try to avoid your hurt feelings.

If you choose to become more defended, your body becomes harder and your heart closers tighter. In your next relationship you are sure to repeat your same old “hurt pattern.” You might even think that you are attracting the same kind of person, yet again.

On the other hand, you can choose to be wise and brave. You can choose to open up to the emotional pain that is currently happening instead of running away from it. When you choose to open up to your emotional pain, your body become more relaxed and your energy flows. You resolve your “hurt pattern” so you do not have to repeat it in your next relationship.

It was a broken heart that kicked my own personal transformation into high gear. So I know that the thing you need to hear the most is that you are lovable and that you are loved. This is what you need to remind yourself of over and over again, even though it does not feel true right now.

In addition, you need to reassure yourself that you have done nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. You might be thinking that if you had only done this, they wouldn’t have left or if you had only done that, they wouldn’t have died. Or you might be experiencing regret that you abandoned your partner.

Reassure yourself that you are not a terrible, bad, unlovable person. This is true and it helps to hear it and say it to yourself. A broken heart needs love, not judgment.

Of course you are not perfect. Of course you pushed love away with your controlling behaviors. Of course you acted out your unresolved emotional issues in your relationship. This is true of everyone.

Your partner was also doing the exact same thing with you. Of course you blamed them and they blamed you. This is universal relationship stuff. These emotional dynamic are exactly what you want to become more aware of so that in your next relationship you are better at loving.

Everyone has these relationships problems. No one is perfect. we do not have to be perfect to be loved. Perfect is an image and no one loves an image. We can only love our real self and the real self of others. This is what you want to get better at doing- loving your real self.

As you learn to open instead of close to your emotional pain, you are feeling your hurt and letting it move through you. You are learning to stand on your own two feet and support yourself. You are learning to take care of yourself so that your needs and desires are met.

Hurt is the first sign of life. It is like a frostbitten hand. It hurts like hell when it is warming up. When your hand is frozen and ready to die, there is no pain. You hurt when you are returning to life. So remind yourself that pain is the first sign of life.

You need courage and support to stay in the hurt and feel it. A Natural Process for Opening the Heart, as tapes, CD’s or written material, was made to comfort you and lead you though the process of letting go of past hurts once and for all so that you do not repeat them. The three tape in the series is called, "When You're Hurting..." Order at www.drjeanette.com/tapes.html

I know it is hard and painful when you are in the middle of hurt feelings. So remind yourself that It is a powerful turning point in your life. You are learning to stay with yourself though life’s natural processes, breath by breath.

There is a wonderful, delightful magic that happens when you feel your hurt feelings. You let go of them, they disappear. The area where your hurt was frozen in your body opens and becomes soft so you can receive love. Open Hearts attract real, true love.

Your heart becomes strong and healthy, allowing love to flow in and out of it with great vitality. You can learn to enjoy each moment in the process of becoming more of who you really are- even the painful ones.

Doris Jeanette, licensed psychologist, expert with Modernsage.com, radio show host with newvocies.com and author of "A Natural Process for Opening the Heart - Your Emotional Guide to Self Esteem", Ebook, tapes, CDs guide you though emotions, feelings so you become strong, loving and happy. Order at http://www.drjeanette.com/tapes.html Free newsletter at http://www.drjeanette.com

Ten Easy, yet Powerful ways to get in the spirit to date again after a break-up

                

 

Ten easy ways that can change your attitude and get you out of a rut and move int direction of dating again.
Divorce and relationship break-up are devastating to most people. Most have learned that jumping from the frying pan into the fire is not a good thing. However, we can get ourselves into a deep rut and have difficulty looking out again for a relationship. Here are some ways to get the energy moving and get un-stuck!

1. Smile at the world. Have fun. Look for positive in everyone you meet. Increase your awareness. Like attracts like. You never know who you meet when you smile.

2. Look at your physical environment . Are there negative leftovers from former relationship/s? Pictures, gifts? Remove what no longer is positive for you. Surround yourself with things that bring you joy. You may want to consider the feng shui of your environment.

3. Make changes to what you hear . What music puts you in a romantic mood? Spend some time each day listening to your special tunes. Avoid listening to news that is negative or anything that puts you in a negative mindset.

4. Consider your sniffer! Is it time to consider new cologne, aromatherapy? Again, explore what smells great to you. Burn some scented candles, place some scented oil at your desk, by your bed.

5. Look in the mirror! Wear clothing that makes you feel good about yourself. Time for a new hair style?

6. Thosewonderful taste buds! Eat food that is light and gives you uplifting energy!

7. Read singles ads in newspaper or on internet Start to consider the qualities that you would love to have in another person in your life.

8. Do the inner work. Clear the closets of your mind/emotions/ and spirit of negative ideas about dating and relationships. This is a big one and may take time and energy if you have not attended to this earlier on. 9. Consider how your spend your time: . Know that if finding a relationship is valuable to you, consider what time will you create for this new adventure.

10. When you are ready, Affirm to the Universe your worthiness and intention to date again. We have all heard the clich, you get what you ask for. We know that clarity about what we want increases exponentially the chances of receiving it.

Jennifer is teacher, author, public speaker, occupational therapist and international email and telephone personal and career coach. She co-creates, with great women over the age of 40,the vision and actualization of a life of choice, spirit, and integrity.