Relationship - Tips To Survive after Break-Up

                

 

Surviving after a love break-up is tough. Speaking about relationships, relationships connect us in this world with each other. We have many kinds of relationships-parental, sibling, friends, professional and love. We go through many phases in all these relationships. Ups and downs are part of our life and our relationships. Most of us can bear break down in most of the above relationships except those of love. Why? Who will survive a breakdown in romantic relationship and how? Let us find out.

I was speaking to somebody who will be breaking up soon. The statement went something like this- I did everything possible to save our relationship. I gave in a lot, but I could not save. We will be breaking-up soon. That has already broken my heart. This relationship was made brick by brick over so many years. What all we did not do to make it last? But alas, we are breaking -up. I asked the person- how to you propose to go on in life now? There was no answer except a blank stare. This happens to most of us.

The immediate effect of the break-up is pain. The pain goes away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact is high. It is the initial period during which one has to gather all the energy and tolerate the pain.

The second effect is bitterness and blame. There is recap of all the arguments and fights and there is a large amount of self-talk about how one were ditched. That is not pleasant. Try the following to overcome this phase.

Spend quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy.

Refocus yourself to your career. Make some very exciting plans and meet some intelligent and successful people. Begin talking to them about what you should do to enhance your potential. Find out what can be done best by you and how will you reach the top. Write down all these goals and focus on them.

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6 Tips To A Smooth Break - Up

                

 

Ending a relationship, for whatever reason, can be a difficult time. This article contains simple things that you can do to make it a smoother time for you and your ex partner.

1. Do not break up by phone, text or email.
If you are the person ending the relationship and you care for the other person, give them the respect they deserve and do not use the phone, email or text to end the relationship. Have the courage to arrange to meet up with them and face them in person.

2. Keep it private.
While you were dating, you were privilidged to information about the other person's personal life, their family, their job situation, their finances and I'm sure much more. When the relationship is over, do not feel it gives you the right to tell everyone all you know about the private life of your ex partner. If you want to maintain a good friendship with them in the future, this will only show you are immature and trying to hurt them.

3. Do not send wrong signals.
If the relationship is over, do not keep sending contrary signals. By this I mean, don't keep emailing them regularly, texting them everyday, calling over to their house whenever you feel like it. This is telling the other party that in your eyes it is not really over and you would be willing to start dating again. If this is not the message you want to send, be very clear in your words and also your actions following the break up.

4. Do not isolate yourself.
Involve your friends and family. Talk to them about how you are feeling, especially if you begin to feel depressed or it is effecting your work or study life.

5. Do not rebound with your ex partner's best friend!
If you want to maintain a healthy friendship with your ex partner in the future, do not start dating their best friend straight after you have broken up. Its just not the done thing!

6. Focus on the good.
Even though the relationship has ended, there were good times that both of you enjoyed. If you only focus on the bad times, you can become bitter and angry at either yourself or the other person. Don't hold onto anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and will prevent you from moving on.

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Platonic Relationships: Why They Don't Work After a Break-Up

                

 

Relationships with the opposite sex can be extremely complicated, especially after a break-up. Can singles be “just friends” with someone they used to date? Here's why I say the answer to that question is "no."

Q. I just broke up with a guy I had been dating for nine months. We got along well on many levels, but realized that we couldn’t be “life partners.” So much of the relationship was good, but the arguing made it bad. While I’m willing to give up the sex and the hope for a future together, I don’t want to give up our friendship. We enjoy many of the same things and I would miss sharing them with him. Can't we be “just friends” while I search for the guy who will be “Mr. Right?” Allyson

Allyson, Maintaining a platonic relationship with someone you used to date is frequently the source of confusion and frustration. So much of your energy had been invested in this person, which makes severing only some of it very tricky. But if you really want to create a life partner relationship with someone who meets all of your needs, then I suggest it is best NOT to be friends with your “ex.”

Trying to maintain a friendship with someone with whom you had been physically intimate is especially challenging. That’s because sex is like “superglue” – it’s easy to get stuck, but extremely difficult to get unstuck. Couples who had expressed their physical feelings with one another can easily succumb again to the emotional triggers that initially sparked the intimacy.

When a man and a woman, each considering the other as a potential life partner, spend a lot of time together, it’s natural that they would become emotionally attached. After a break-up, a person usually goes through a sort of grieving and mourning process. This is because when you’re dating someone, and doing so with the serious intention of seeing if s/he is going to be your life partner, you have hopes and dreams that it'll all work out. When reality tells you (and you’re actually willing to listen to reality!) that the two of you are not compatible, and should not continue being together, it can feel like a “death.” But it's not the death of the person that you have to adjust to, it’s the death of your hopes and dreams. And just like with the death of a person, the challenge before you is to re-orient yourself in the world without this person in your life, and get back into the game to find someone more suitable.

I suggest that you sever yourself from this failed relationship completely. Doing so will free up all of your energies – emotional, physical and intellectual – and allow you to explore a new relationship’s potential. Avoiding a “friendship” with your ex will prevent him (and your residual feelings for him) from distracting you from attaining your goal of attaining as gratifying relationship with the right person.

About Janice D. Bennett, Ph.D. Practicing as a psychologist for over 20 years, Janice has treated many singles looking to get married, but who had become depressed and demoralized by the dating process. She now uses her skills and experience to help healthy singles overcome the obstacles preventing them from attaining the relationships and lives they really want. Janice has been quoted in Cosmopolitan Magazine, gives dating advice on http://www.JMatch.com and other websites for singles, has a free e-newsletter and gives teleclasses, lectures and workshops. Check out her "Get Your Love Right!" blog, read other dating-related Q's&A's and articles, and sign up for a complimentary 40 minute telephone coaching session by visiting her website at http://www.DoctorLoveCoach.com

Ten Easy, Yet Powerful way to get in the spirit to date again after a break-up or time-out

                

 

Ten Easy, yet Powerful ways to get in the spirit to date again after a break-up or time-out
Divorce and relationship break-up are devastating to most people. Most have learned that jumping from the frying pan into the fire is not a good thing. However, we can get ourselves into a deep rut and have difficulty looking out again for a relationship. Here are some ways to get the energy moving to see over the top of the valley!

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1. Smile at the world. Have fun. Look for positive in everyone you meet. Increase your awareness. Like attracts like. You never know who you meet when you smile.

2. Look at your surroundings . Are there negative “leftovers" from former relationship/s? Remove what no longer is positive for you. Surround yourself with things that bring you joy. You may want to consider the feng shui of your environment.

3.Make changes to what you hear . What music puts you in a romantic mood? Spend some time each day listening to your special music. Avoid listening to news that is negative or anything that puts you in a negative mindset.

4.Consider your sniffer! : Is it time to consider new cologne, aromatherapy? Again, explore what smells great to you. Burn some scented candles, place some scented oil at your desk, by your bed.

5.Look in the mirror! Wear clothing that makes you feel good about yourself. Time for a new hair style or other changes?

6.Those taste buds! Eat food that is light and gives you uplifting energy and that you enjoy.

7.Read singles ads in newspaper or internet: Start to consider the qualities that you would love to have in another person in your life.

8. Do the inner work. Clear the closets of your mind/emotions/ and spirit of negative ideas about dating and relationships. This is a big one and may take time and energy if you have not attended to this earlier on.

9.Consider how your spend your time: . Know that if finding a relationship is valuable to you, consider what time will you create for this new adventure.

10. When you are ready, Affirm to the Universe your worthiness and intention to date again.
We have all heard the clich, you get what you ask for. We know that clarity about what we want
Increases exponentially the chances of receiving it.

Jennifer Wright is an Occupational Therapist and Personal Singles Coach. Internationally, she has co-created with singles iver 40 to find the love of their lives. Find out more at www.wrightdirection.com.