You Break Relationship Up - You Break Up?

                

 

You know it’s over – maybe both of you do – but how do you find the courage to break a relationship up?

As well as the worry that you’ll hurt the other person, there’s also the fear that you won’t cope with the tidal wave of emotion you imagine you’ll feel too.

Here are some tips on how to avoid the “break relationship up” blues!

First – let’s face a stark fact. When a relationship breaks up people hurt. And relationships don’t break up on their own – someone has to do it! Very rarely is it by mutual agreement, and even if both of you do agree it’s time to go, chances are one of you will be more reluctant than the other.

The truth, however, is that keeping someone in a relationship that is no longer loving is hurting them anyway. And they probably know. They may bury their head in the proverbial sand, but it’s very rare that a lover doesn’t sense something’s wrong. The sooner you find a way to mention that maybe it’s time to break the relationship up, the sooner you put them out of that misery. Things start to add up in their head and you have the satisfaction of having been honest.

Secondly, act as quickly as you can. To minimize pain for both of you don’t hang on until it’s “convenient” for you to go, and don’t back pedal by having a conversation about patching things up. Make a clean break. If there’s ever going to be hope of starting again, don’t leave jagged edges! They’re sharp and dangerous and can hurt both of you for a lot longer than a clean break.

And what about you? Being the one to break the relationship up brings not only pain but added guilt. You did it – and you have to live with yourself.

Here’s how to think of it. First, you were already hurting because you wouldn’t have been moving on if things were working, would you? Would you give a faulty or broken tool to your best friend? Of course you wouldn’t! Inflicting your unhappy self on the person who’s been closest to you in this phase of your life is equivalent to forcing faulty or tacky goods on someone when you know it’s broken and you wouldn’t have it. Get your head around this and you’ll see that you’d have more guilt staying!

Secondly, just because you were the one to break the relationship up doesn’t mean you don’t hurt too. Let yourself grieve – you’re entitled to. (For a complete self help guide on healing from heartbreak go to my website – details later)

Finally, I will pass on a thought to you that I have found very helpful over the years. Unfortunately I can’t remember where I heard or read it, so if the author is reading – thank you!

Here’s the thought: Some people come into your life for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime.

You are not under obligation to stay together. You are under obligation to stay happy, and that includes doing the kindest thing for your partner too. He or she has the same entitlement.

If it’s time to break the relationship up, face it and …. break the relationship up!

Trevor Emdon is a self improvement author and workshop leader based in the UK. He was a senior mental health practitioner in Britain’s National Health Service for many years, and now devotes his time to writing and teaching personal development. To sign up for his free Positive Life newsletter, visit http://www.wizardofwisdom.com

The self help program "How To Love Again When Your Heart's Been Broken" can be found at http://www.in-love-again.com

The Best Break Up Advice

                

 

Extreme Breakup Recovery
Maximum Healing – Minimum Time

If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don’t need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn’t matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain, and the best advice regarding break ups is: USE THIS BREAKUP TO YOUR BENEFIT.

After a breakup, everybody has two choices. One, leave the healing to time. Two, take charge of the recovery process. The first method will take a long time, pain and suffering before healing. It is slow and torturous. The second method, taking control, will allow anyone to accelerate the healing process, learn fast and move on, leaving space to find healthier and more fulfilling love than ever before. You may need some guidance on the steps for a fast and productive emotional healing. We have never been taught how to heal emotionally, so when we go through an emotional situation we are on our own. We need a method, a successfully proven method for emotional healing.

The Extreme F.A.S.T. method is an effective, simple and practical alternative to heal faster than you thought possible. Three facts make this method a very exciting proposition: First, it works; second, anyone can follow it and get results; third, it creates permanent change in the negative pattern of relationships. This method is the ultimate healing tool: a quick, productive, effective and confronting method to heal as fast as you can. The steps are: Face It, Accept It, See The Lessons and Take Yourself To A New Level.

The first step is Face It. The alternative to facing it, is denying it. You can accelerate your healing process by facing what you need to face. It's important to know what to face and how. This is a crucial step to start feeling better.

The second step in the Extreme F.A.S.T. breakup recovery method is Accept It. Acceptance means that we can look into ourselves for honest answers about specific issues from the relationship.

The third step in the Extreme F.A.S.T. breakup recovery method is See The Lessons. Life is always guiding us to what is best for us. Through joyful and painful experiences, you learn lessons that help you grow. The key is to know where to look for the lessons, and how to make sense of the experiences. As you see the particular lessons you prepare for fulfilling and healthy relationships.

The fourth and last step in the Extreme F.A.S.T. breakup recovery method is Take Yourself To A New Level. This means to get to a new level in your life where you can start living in a more fulfilling way.This step also includes specific strategies to increase your self-esteem.

By going through these steps, the Extreme F.A.S.T. breakup recovery method can really help you accelerate your healing and get ready for a new love. To find more information about each step and how to do it yourself read the EXTREME BREAKUP RECOVERY book and follow the worksheets and exercises designed for Maximum Healing in Minimum Time. Your true partner is already on the way; the more you suffer and prolong your healing, the more you will delay his or her arrival.

 Adapted from the book "Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing Minimum Time," by Jeanette Castelli, M.S. Featuring the Extreme F.A.S.T. breakup recovery method and packed with advice, exercises, worksheets and affirmations. Available online at the website http://ExtremeBreakupRecovery.com , Amazon.com , other online retailers and bookstores. For more information, go to http://ExtremeBreakupRecovery.com

Jeanette Castelli is an expert breakup recovery and relationship coach, international author and speaker. She is an expert in recovery and healing processes, including divorce, breakups, and emotional trauma. To read more about Jeanette Castelli her books and coaching, visit http://JeanetteCastelli.com/