Stopping A Break Up Before It Happens

                

 

Couples part ways for many reasons. Many other factors come into a relationship failing, but for the purpose of stopping the break up in its tracks, we won't focus on any one reason in particular. I will say however, that if you are in a relationship where there is any kind of abuse, or your partner is addicted to alcohol or drugs, you should not be there. I am speaking from experience here. Do not shatter your self esteem one second longer by remaining in a relationship like this, especially when nothing is changing and your partner will not get help. You know there is better for you out there.

Any other problem can be solved with hard work. If you still love your partner and you cannot imagine your life without them, I would encourage you to try and save your relationship. But, "hold on" you may say. "What about infidelity?" Relationships can survive this, it just depends on whether the couple want to be together.

Firstly, you must look at the reasons behind your not wanting to end the relationship. Is it because you would feel lonely? This is not a good enough reason. You are after a companion, not a lover. Your relationship is not built on love, which is unfair to your partner. So you must do the right thing and let them go.

Secondly; what are the reasons they are giving for wanting to end the relationship? Are they blaming you for everything? Remember that it takes two to have a relationship and break it up as well. So make sure you take responsibility for what you have contributed to the break up, and if your partner is not doing the same, it is possible you won't ever see eye to eye on things.

Lastly and most importantly, keep your dignity. Do not beg your lover to stay. Show them that you love them in every way possible however; remain dignified in your actions. Put in a consistent effort to improve the relationship, show them that you are serious about working on the relationship. And most importantly be accepting of his or her feelings.

If all else fails and they walk out the door, all is not lost. You will need to be prepared to be patient and work on yourself before approaching your ex and asking to get back together. It is harder once they have left the relationship to win them back however, it is still possible.

Janelle Coulton

To read more about Stopping Your Breakup, please visit Jel's Stop Your Break-up Page

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Janelle Coulton (aka Jel) is a professional writer of articles, essays and short stories. She is passionate about writing and helping people who have questions about human relationships or have relationship troubles. Her work can be provocative, controversial and funny, she loves to encourage her readers to look at the big picture. Jel also runs a relationship group at Yahoo! YOu can vist Jel's Yahoo! Group here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StopBreakup/

You will find more information, articles and relationship advice at Jel's websites:

http://www.freewebs.com/jel1/index.htm

After The Break Up

                

 

Let me tell you about my major break-up and how I managed to move on from it.

My ex-husband and I tried just about our entire relationship to make it work as best we knew how. His version and mine on how to do this differed more than you might imagine - he thought cheating on me was a good idea, and I didn't. I wanted to keep the marriage going because I had my three kids with him and I didn't want them to experience a childhood without their dad as I had. Growing up without any involvement from my dad (his choice) always had me feeling I wasn't worth it.

I gave it several attempts to get past what he'd done, but I just couldn't do it. We'd split a few times only to get back together to see if this time we could make it. Not long after he would move back in, he'd go back to treating me the way he had before, and this last had to be the last time. The last time he moved out ended up being the best day of my life.

I had been in a major funk: I had no friends my that husband would allow me to see because they were guys. All but one of my best friends are men, always has been that way. No funny business ever, just friends. Anyway, I literally woke up one day thinking there had to be more to my life than feeling worthless and holding no value. My kids needed me and I needed them more. I knew I'd been slacking as a mom but I couldn't seem to help myself. The good news is that I woke up morning. There must have been something wicked in that coffee because I had a new focus: Finding me.

I went out and got my old job back and got off welfare. The kids' dad would take them on Friday's before my shift and I'd pick them up Sunday after my shift. I put in a full week of waiting tables from Friday 3 pm to Sunday 9 pm so I wouldn't have to pay a sitter. That left me Monday through Thursday to be nothing but mom.

Getting involved with someone new was not on my agenda, I was becoming known as the Freezer Queen at work. When I moved into a new place, it was a new beginning and I took full advantage of it. I made new friends and went out when the kids were at their dads. I needed to get back to me and even though my kids were my reason for the start back to life, without people my own age to converse with I was without another factor I had to have. People in your life are essential to living. You need them as much as they need you, whether you know it or not.

Your relationship may be over, but you are not. Find one thing about yourself that you can hold onto to help you pull yourself up and begin again. It can be the smallest thing but end up being your life saver

Did She Break Up With You Before The Relationship Even Started

                

 

Really this number should be closer to six months however as a general rule when a woman breaks up with you after less than three months of being together there was never really a relationship in the first place.

At least it is not a relationship that she is emotionally invested in enough to even consider giving you a second chance. More importantly, if she does come back it is almost guaranteed to be the type of relationship that is of the on again-off again variety. There are hundred and maybe even thousands of reasons why a woman will break up with you that early on in the relationship.

Yet, all you really need to know is that the attraction she had for you is weak or there are some serious unresolved issues that she hasn't dealt with from her past that is causing her to leave you. Either way, whatever you have imagined as the future the two of you have together isn't going to happen. The only things you can do are move on and improve yourself in ways that will make you even more attractive to the women of your future.

If she happens to come back you must make sure that her attraction level for you is much stronger than it was when the two of you first got into a relationship with each other. You can also ask if she has resolved the issues from her past that she hadn't dealt with before, although her attraction level for you might be so high now that she will say she has even if she hasn't. Ultimately you must decide if you really want to be with someone who will more than likely leave you every few months or if you already know that you deserve much more than being treated that way by any woman.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.

Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man.

To learn more about Getting Over A BreakUp visit our article section Breaking Up Today

After The Break Up Do You Know How Many Chances You Had To Maintain Attraction And The Relationship

                

 

For the most part by the time she breaks up with you, in her mind you have been given several if not hundreds of chances to get it right. She may or may not have given you good indicators of the "problems" you needed fix; yet if you recall the weeks and days before the break up you will notice the differences in her behavior and perhaps you can clearly see when and where the end started.

As for the "problems" that led to her breaking up with you unless they were problems created right then in the moment they more than likely have to do with a loss of attraction and not the problems that she is stating or reacting to. For instance, perhaps she suddenly has become frustrated with your lack of romance even though you never were romantic to begin with.

What she really is saying is "I am losing attraction for you and now the problems in the relationship are becoming too difficult to handle!" Whereas if you got a new job or had to start traveling more and she had a problem with that it may indeed have been the problem and might be able to be fixed (although highly unlikely). All you really need to know is that when she breaks up with you it wasn't a rash decision that she made overnight and it wont be fixed overnight either.

Move on and begin taking steps to improve yourself if she comes back ready to work on the relationship you must already know the reasons for the break up and the reasons for getting back together. Failure to do so could quite possibly mean repeating the break up again only next time she might not come back.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.

Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man.

To learn more about Getting Over A BreakUp visit our article section Breaking Up Today

Want To Know How To Get Your Ex To Break Up With New Girlfriend?

                

 

Is this what you're after? If so, chances are you're going down a messy path. Winning back your Ex? It's possible. Making your ex lose interest in someone else? That's highly unlikely. Here's why...

If someone tried to make you lose interest in your ex, what chances do they have? Will they have a magic potion they'll slip into your drink that kills all your emotions for them? No.

Your goal is to change someone else's mind. In other words, your goal is set inside someone else's boundaries.

If you want to win a marathon race you train really, really hard. If you want to run a successful business you stay dedicated to it and make the right decisions. All of these are within your control.

What someone else thinks is never in your control. If you try to make your ex break up with their new girlfriend by demeaning and making her look bad, chances are you're going to come out of it looking like a complete psycho. Trust me, you'll kill your chances.

However, let's look at it another way. Can you choose to stop liking your ex? No. What is it about him? Is it his attractive body? A killer sense of humour? Maybe you can't put your finger on it, but it's there. You didn't choose to like him.

The same applies for him. He might be going out with this new girl because he wants to get over you. He dated you at some point, didn't he? That's because he found you attractive.

If you can make yourself attractive to him once again, you can win him back. If you're lucky he might even break up with his new girlfriend just to be with you again.

Even if he doesn't, you're going to make yourself feel better. You'll feel more attractive and you might even find a new man. If you want him to break up with his new girlfriend because you want pay back, dating and moving on from him is the best revenge.

Going through all this effort just to either make him unhappy or to make him available again isn't going to work, and you'll just look like an ass. I assume you want to get back into his good books again, but trying to sabotage his future relationships is going to make him avoid you at all costs.

Start dating again and get him off your mind. Keep your life busy and make yourself more attractive by showing him that you don't need him. Send him an e-mail now and then just to ask how he's doing so that he won't forget about you, but don't go beyond that.

If you keep the e-mails casual and become friends with him again, chances are he'll want to start spending time with you. If you're lucky, he might even want more. Even if he doesn't, you'll still be dating other guys and you might find one that's even better.

If you don't put all your eggs in one basket you're going to find yourself happier. By dating other guys you're going to experience and learn about new people, and you'll also have the chance to win your ex back if you keep in contact.

You might want to do anything to get your ex back, but keep it to changing yourself only. Trying to interfere with other people's lives will come back to haunt you sooner or later.

Want to learn some amazing techniques that will almost certainly win your Ex back? Or do you simply want to take control of your love life for good?

Check Out Chase's blog for a free break-up e-book and simple secrets that can win him or her back into your arms.

Click Here for your FREE "Dumped - 50 Tips On Getting Over It" E-Book

Taking Responsibility for Your Part in the Break-up

                

 

We have talked about the many mistakes that people will make after a breakup; especially when they are have an intention of winning their lover back. If you have read my previous articles, it is now time to put what you have learned to good use, and stop laying blame. Blaming yourself for the break up is pointless. The past is the past, is cannot be changed no matter how much we would like it changed. Blaming yourself for the mistakes you made within your relationship is pointless too, as it is over and you cannot go back and change it, you can only learn from it. So take responsibility and learn, learn, learn.

To not take responsibility and learn from your mistakes is another mistake we make after a break up. Make a promise to yourself from now on that you will take responsibility and not make any of the mistakes that I have been writing about in my articles. This is a huge opportunity to develop yourself into a healthier, more positive person. If you keep making the mistakes that have been outlined, then what do think will happen? Nothing, nothing will change until you decide that you are going to do something different, something that may work.

Take responsibility by thinking about what your role was in your relationship. Analyze how you think you may have contributed to the relationship ending and think about how you could fix these problems or behaviours. None of us are shrinking violets, we all have flaws. If we can learn from the mistakes in our relationships then we will know what to watch out for in our future relationships.

With everything in life, every decision we make. We make the choice. We need to take responsibility for the path we choose to follow. Many people will say that it was fate that broke up their last relationship, they will say that is wasn't meant to be. Is it possible that there might have been things they could have done to fix the problems in their relationship? I believe that fate has very little to do with how our life turns out. We make our own fate, we choose where our life goes. Yes, there are many things we cannot control, but we can for most part be in the driver's seat when it comes to where we want our life and relationship to end up.

A big plus here that I should mention is that the way we behave largely influences the people closest to us. Meaning if we are usually positive, happy and smiling when we are with people, they will respond in kind. If you wish your ex was a more loving person, my advice is to focus on being more loving yourself to your partner and everyone around you. Your ex may well do exactly what you want him or her to do.

Janelle Coulton (aka Jel) is a professional writer of articles, essays and short stories. She is passionate about writing and helping people who have questions about human relationships or have relationship troubles. Her work can be provocative, controversial and funny, she loves to encourage her readers to look at the big picture. Jel also runs a relationship group at Yahoo! You can go to the following link to check it out:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StopBreakup/

There is more information available, articles and relationship advice and tips at Jel's websites:

http://www.freewebs.com/jelbaby/

http://www.freewebs.com/jel1/index.htm

How to Get Over a Break Up - In 3 Simple Ways

                

 

Getting over a breakup can be one of the worst feelings ever on this planet. Your emotions would be all over the place you would lose control of your mind and you don't know what to do next. Seems as if life has come to a stand still and you simply can't seem to control your thoughts. Read on to discover some of the best ways to get over a breakup and achieve the desired results.

Think positive- Break up is a situation where your mind simply can't think positive at all. You get bombarded with negative thoughts from all corners and you simply can't control them. The best way to think positive after a breakup is to go for long walks. Yes long walks are known to be the best when it comes to thinking positive and taking control of your emotions.

It's past and it's over- Stop living in the past. Maybe the breakup took place for a good reason. Look out at the world and smell the roses. There is much more to life than just crying over what has gone. Think about the present and the future.

Change your music- Several times people tend to listen to sad songs after a breakup. This would only worsen your already bad condition. Stop listening to sad songs try to put up some lively number which would raise your emotions and you would feel lighter.

Keep busy- When you sit at one place for too long trying to avoid certain painful thoughts they tend to come to you even more faster. Try keeping yourself as busy as possible maybe go out for a walk, going to the gym, and hanging out with friends. The more you keep yourself busy the lesser these thoughts would come to you.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know